There are many activities that you can do with your children and quite a few of them are geared toward springtime. This is the time of year when you get outside with your children and have fun. It isn’t too hot to spend time outside or so cold that you have to limit your time outside.
Bird Watching. You can use to activity to teach your child about the different birds in your neighborhood or surrounding area. This becomes more difficult to use when you live in a climate where there isn’t a lot of birds, like a desert area or in a city. But you can always go out to a rural area to engage in this activity. You can buy them their own pair of binoculars and let them help you choose bird feeders, so you can research together what type of birds you would like to attract. It would also be helpful to get a book from the library or book store that has pictures about the different birds in your area.
Gardening. You and your children can plan a garden and start planting it. You can choose the area you would like to turn into a garden and after you have figured out the area, then you can determine how many different types of plants you can grow. They can be involved in the entire process and can help you buy the seeds or plants. You will all have a fun time planting the seeds and plants in your new garden and it can be an ongoing project as they can help weed it and water it on a daily basis. The joy they will have when they are able to eat their first vegetable that they grew will not be surpassed.
Bicycling or Walking. This will help your child to stay in shape while being outside and spending time together as a family. If the family walks or rides bikes on nightly basis or even every other day it will be time that the family will enjoy. It will help the children to put an exercise program in place that they will have fun with and it will help them to keep on exercising after they become adults.
There are many other activities that you can do with your child during the spring from visiting the zoo to going to museums or nature centers. Spring time is normally a time when family go outside to enjoy their evenings together. It is a time they enjoy the warmth in the air and watch the new birds being born, the flowers blossoming and the trees blooming. It is the time when we can teach our children to enjoy not only time outside but time together as a family.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Teens and Decorating
My daughter loves to change the decorations in her room and would change them every week if we let her. When she started getting the idea to change her room we imposed a rule that she had to like the theme, style and colors for six months before we would allow her to change her room. So she pored over magazines and every time we went to the hardware store she made sure to grab more paint samples. It took her about two months to decide what she wanted her room to look like, but then she was able to stay with that style for six months.
She went to her grandparents for a few weeks and we decided that while she was gone we were going to paint her room for her. So we removed the old wallpaper she had, and painted the room. Then we took some of her artwork and framed it and put it on the wall. The next thing we did was make pillows to match her room. When she came home and saw her room, she was amazed at how well it looked. She loved it.
Now that we have moved she is trying to decide what type of style to decorate her new room in and is looking at creating a jungle on the walls and take her artwork and display the ones that are of different animals. If she can last six months with the design we will help her put it in.
Teenagers have a unique style that is probably nothing like the parents’ style, but that doesn’t’ mean it is bad. You need to give them a chance to find their niche in the world and they will start with their room. As long as it isn’t too bad, let them decorate it the way they like and encourage their creativity.
www.helium.com
She went to her grandparents for a few weeks and we decided that while she was gone we were going to paint her room for her. So we removed the old wallpaper she had, and painted the room. Then we took some of her artwork and framed it and put it on the wall. The next thing we did was make pillows to match her room. When she came home and saw her room, she was amazed at how well it looked. She loved it.
Now that we have moved she is trying to decide what type of style to decorate her new room in and is looking at creating a jungle on the walls and take her artwork and display the ones that are of different animals. If she can last six months with the design we will help her put it in.
Teenagers have a unique style that is probably nothing like the parents’ style, but that doesn’t’ mean it is bad. You need to give them a chance to find their niche in the world and they will start with their room. As long as it isn’t too bad, let them decorate it the way they like and encourage their creativity.
www.helium.com
Friday, March 23, 2007
How to raise assertive kids who can be humble too
As a parent it is part of your job to teach your children to take care of themselves. One of the aspects of doing this is to teach children to be assertive because you do not want people to use them as a doormat. You also have to be mindful that you don’t want your children to walk all over other people so you have to make sure that they need to be assertive while still remaining humble.
There are certain things you need to do when you are working on teaching your children to be assertive. You need to teach them that while arguing with parents is not acceptable having open discussion is allowed. They need to know the rules in the house are important but if they come up with a change to the rules and approach the parents in a respectable manner then you will talk to them and figure out if their new method would work.
If you work with your children and show them that if you approach people in a respectable manner they will be more likely to listen to you. They need to learn that being rude to people is not the same as being assertive. To be assertive is not being shy about expressing your opinion and it is important to teach children this, which can be handled by example and talking to them. It is also important that no matter how important you think your opinion is, you should never make someone else feel inferior because they believe something different than you.
Children learn by example. That is how they have learned to read and talk and many other things. That is also how they learn to be assertive. When you teach your child to be assertive you are helping them to succeed in life, but you need to make sure you temper their assertiveness with a good dose of humility. They need to learn that their opinion is not the only one in the world and having other people voice their opinion will help to create new and sometimes better ideas.
There are certain things you need to do when you are working on teaching your children to be assertive. You need to teach them that while arguing with parents is not acceptable having open discussion is allowed. They need to know the rules in the house are important but if they come up with a change to the rules and approach the parents in a respectable manner then you will talk to them and figure out if their new method would work.
If you work with your children and show them that if you approach people in a respectable manner they will be more likely to listen to you. They need to learn that being rude to people is not the same as being assertive. To be assertive is not being shy about expressing your opinion and it is important to teach children this, which can be handled by example and talking to them. It is also important that no matter how important you think your opinion is, you should never make someone else feel inferior because they believe something different than you.
Children learn by example. That is how they have learned to read and talk and many other things. That is also how they learn to be assertive. When you teach your child to be assertive you are helping them to succeed in life, but you need to make sure you temper their assertiveness with a good dose of humility. They need to learn that their opinion is not the only one in the world and having other people voice their opinion will help to create new and sometimes better ideas.
Parenting teens: Knowing how to choose your battles
As with anything in life it is important to pick the battles that will make a difference. If you are constantly bickering with your teenager then you won’t accomplish anything except alienate him or her. Your goal as a parent is to pick the battles that are important. If it is important to you that your child do well in school then that is a battle you can pick, but is it smart to fight over your child getting a B instead of an A. Those are the types of questions you need to ask yourself.
Your children will go through many changes in their teenage years. You will wonder if they have been invaded by the pod people, but sit back and see how they are handling things before you jump into the fray. If you don’t like one of their friends they look at their other friends and see if they are a good influence on your teenager. If they have one friend that is a bad influence, decide if it is worth it to start a fight over, because remember that you could push your teenager right into the friendship. But if you monitor the situation then if you see your child pulling away from the “good” kids then you might have cause for concern. Remember though that you don’t see the actual behavior of the child when they aren’t around you. The child who you thought was a good influence could be the one that is doing drugs and drinking while the one that you think is bad is struggling to improve himself to succeed in the real world. If you forbid a child to do something, they are more likely to try it than if you talk to them about your reasons.
The most important thing is that you need to choose the battles that matter. While it is important to handle the situation when your child gets surly it is more important to deal with your child experimenting with drugs and alcohol. If you are grounding your child on a consistent basis then it will lose its effectiveness, so will have to work on coming up with new ways to punish or restrict your child on a continual basis. Instead you want to focus on teaching your child the correct way to handle a situation that way you don’t have to worry about battles as much because they know the correct way to act and knows that there will be repercussions for their actions.
Children are trying to find their place in the world. They don’t feel comfortable in their skin and just want to fit in. During their teenage years is when they are trying to find the sweet spot that will help them to find their place. They are trying to discover what they are supposed to be when they grow up and most don’t have a clue. They are dealing with hormones that are completely out of synch and one moment they are smiling and the next crying. If you get upset every time they do then you will be on the rollercoaster ride with them and they need you to be the rock that keeps them grounded. They will push you and try to get their way, but they know that it won’t always happen, but you need to decide which issues are the important ones and which ones you will let them have control over.
Your children will go through many changes in their teenage years. You will wonder if they have been invaded by the pod people, but sit back and see how they are handling things before you jump into the fray. If you don’t like one of their friends they look at their other friends and see if they are a good influence on your teenager. If they have one friend that is a bad influence, decide if it is worth it to start a fight over, because remember that you could push your teenager right into the friendship. But if you monitor the situation then if you see your child pulling away from the “good” kids then you might have cause for concern. Remember though that you don’t see the actual behavior of the child when they aren’t around you. The child who you thought was a good influence could be the one that is doing drugs and drinking while the one that you think is bad is struggling to improve himself to succeed in the real world. If you forbid a child to do something, they are more likely to try it than if you talk to them about your reasons.
The most important thing is that you need to choose the battles that matter. While it is important to handle the situation when your child gets surly it is more important to deal with your child experimenting with drugs and alcohol. If you are grounding your child on a consistent basis then it will lose its effectiveness, so will have to work on coming up with new ways to punish or restrict your child on a continual basis. Instead you want to focus on teaching your child the correct way to handle a situation that way you don’t have to worry about battles as much because they know the correct way to act and knows that there will be repercussions for their actions.
Children are trying to find their place in the world. They don’t feel comfortable in their skin and just want to fit in. During their teenage years is when they are trying to find the sweet spot that will help them to find their place. They are trying to discover what they are supposed to be when they grow up and most don’t have a clue. They are dealing with hormones that are completely out of synch and one moment they are smiling and the next crying. If you get upset every time they do then you will be on the rollercoaster ride with them and they need you to be the rock that keeps them grounded. They will push you and try to get their way, but they know that it won’t always happen, but you need to decide which issues are the important ones and which ones you will let them have control over.
Asking older children to babysit for siblings: Guidelines
When people decide to have children they need to look at more aspects than just the joy of parenthood. There are many issues long term that need to be decided upon, long before you become pregnant for the child. One of these is child care. Most parents will research different day care facilities and try to find one that fits within their budget. They will look for the most qualified teachers and caregivers to look after their children, but once their children start school they believe they will have it easier. Parents won’t have to pay as much because the child only needs before and after school care, but then one of your children reach an age where they can legally watch their siblings. At this point, most parents are looking at the financial aspect of being able to save on childcare, but there are a few other points parents need to review before they decide to ask their older child to babysit their siblings.
Homework. One of the aspects that parents will enjoy is that their children will be able to work on their homework before the parents get home. But parents need to be careful that they set the rules for the older sibling. If the parents want the older sibling to be responsible for the younger ones doing their homework then you need to be prepared for a battle. There is natural sibling rivalry between family and when you put one child in charge of another and give them authority it is going to get heated and you could end up with a child getting hurt or one of the children could become withdrawn and quiet. It is best to have the children do their homework but the older child is not responsible for making sure it gets done, so that you are able to remove a bone of contention from the situation before it becomes a problem.
Food. This was always a large problem in our family. The older child believed it was his responsibility to make sure that his siblings didn’t have too much food. You need to make sure you inform all of the children the rules for snacks until you get home. It helps to make one shelf of the refrigerator the only shelf they are allowed to get food from and this works for the pantry also. This way you can put food on that shelf and even label it if you like and then the children know the guidelines they have to follow on a daily basis.
Television. The only way we found for this to work was that each child had a scheduled time to use the television. They could play a game on it or watch a television show, but they could only use it during their designated time. Even if they decided not to use it at that time, the other children weren’t allowed to take over the television. By doing this we were able to cut down on the number of fights over the television and in the process separate the children so there was limited exposure.
Computer. This worked the same way as the television. They weren’t allowed to exchange their time with their siblings, but had to stick to their original scheduled time. If they were in the middle of a game and wouldn’t finish for another 30 minutes they still had to stop whatever they were doing to turn the computer over to their sibling. By setting up the schedule the children learned to keep an eye on the clock to make sure they were at a save point in the game they were playing.
When you leave your children home alone, you need to make sure that you have put guidelines in place to help them as much as possible. Even though you can’t afford to stay home with your children you need to let them keep their childhood. By setting up the guidelines it helps them to stay within their boundaries and not be overwhelmed with responsibility. You don’t want your children to grow up before their time, let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible.
Homework. One of the aspects that parents will enjoy is that their children will be able to work on their homework before the parents get home. But parents need to be careful that they set the rules for the older sibling. If the parents want the older sibling to be responsible for the younger ones doing their homework then you need to be prepared for a battle. There is natural sibling rivalry between family and when you put one child in charge of another and give them authority it is going to get heated and you could end up with a child getting hurt or one of the children could become withdrawn and quiet. It is best to have the children do their homework but the older child is not responsible for making sure it gets done, so that you are able to remove a bone of contention from the situation before it becomes a problem.
Food. This was always a large problem in our family. The older child believed it was his responsibility to make sure that his siblings didn’t have too much food. You need to make sure you inform all of the children the rules for snacks until you get home. It helps to make one shelf of the refrigerator the only shelf they are allowed to get food from and this works for the pantry also. This way you can put food on that shelf and even label it if you like and then the children know the guidelines they have to follow on a daily basis.
Television. The only way we found for this to work was that each child had a scheduled time to use the television. They could play a game on it or watch a television show, but they could only use it during their designated time. Even if they decided not to use it at that time, the other children weren’t allowed to take over the television. By doing this we were able to cut down on the number of fights over the television and in the process separate the children so there was limited exposure.
Computer. This worked the same way as the television. They weren’t allowed to exchange their time with their siblings, but had to stick to their original scheduled time. If they were in the middle of a game and wouldn’t finish for another 30 minutes they still had to stop whatever they were doing to turn the computer over to their sibling. By setting up the schedule the children learned to keep an eye on the clock to make sure they were at a save point in the game they were playing.
When you leave your children home alone, you need to make sure that you have put guidelines in place to help them as much as possible. Even though you can’t afford to stay home with your children you need to let them keep their childhood. By setting up the guidelines it helps them to stay within their boundaries and not be overwhelmed with responsibility. You don’t want your children to grow up before their time, let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible.
The drama of young girls and why it's important to listen
When it comes to girls, I believe drama is completely entwined into their DNA. They can take a simple tale of walking to their next class and embellish it to become an elaborate journey into the heart of the unknown. If they dropped a book in the hallway, they will talk to you about the injustice being done to children, the inhumanity of having them carry so much weight. Children and girls especially have a knack of taking a simple story and making it into a novel.
As a parent you need to be able to listen to your children and understand what they are talking about. You need to hear everything they have to say because one of the things they tell you might be something of extreme importance. But even then it is all important because it is important to her. You need to make her feel special; that you are interested in her life and want to know how her day went. By listening to her tell you about her day you find out little tidbit that she hides within the drama of her stories.
Girls will take the story of going into the classroom and tell you about it because something happened that she wants you to know about. She doesn’t feel comfortable about coming right out and saying what it is but she still wants you to know. It is your job as a parent to decipher these stories to be able to understand what it is she is saying. Because within her story, she could be telling you that a boy asked her on a date or she is having a hard time in the class.
Parents need to learn to decipher all of their children’s conversations not just girls, but with girls it is normally embedded within another story. This is how girls tell their parents about the things that happen in their life. It is how parents can find out if there is a problem that they need to resolve or if it is a cry for help. It can also be a way to show the parents how happy they are and how much they enjoy life. It is also important to remember that it can also be a way to play with their imagination. They know they can open up their minds and let their imaginations have free rein in their story telling. It frees them from the daily tensions in life. But the parents need to listen to their children to understand which areas are pure story and which are the true parts of life.
As a parent you need to be able to listen to your children and understand what they are talking about. You need to hear everything they have to say because one of the things they tell you might be something of extreme importance. But even then it is all important because it is important to her. You need to make her feel special; that you are interested in her life and want to know how her day went. By listening to her tell you about her day you find out little tidbit that she hides within the drama of her stories.
Girls will take the story of going into the classroom and tell you about it because something happened that she wants you to know about. She doesn’t feel comfortable about coming right out and saying what it is but she still wants you to know. It is your job as a parent to decipher these stories to be able to understand what it is she is saying. Because within her story, she could be telling you that a boy asked her on a date or she is having a hard time in the class.
Parents need to learn to decipher all of their children’s conversations not just girls, but with girls it is normally embedded within another story. This is how girls tell their parents about the things that happen in their life. It is how parents can find out if there is a problem that they need to resolve or if it is a cry for help. It can also be a way to show the parents how happy they are and how much they enjoy life. It is also important to remember that it can also be a way to play with their imagination. They know they can open up their minds and let their imaginations have free rein in their story telling. It frees them from the daily tensions in life. But the parents need to listen to their children to understand which areas are pure story and which are the true parts of life.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Strategies for coping with and helping loud children
Just because children are loud does not mean that they are bad children. There could be several factors that could contribute to your child being overly loud. If you have a child who speaks loudly then you need to determine what is the reason they are being this way.
You need to eliminate problems that could be the cause of your child being loud. If it is a medical condition, where they have a problem with their hearing then you need to get them to a doctor to find out if it is reversible. If it is not reversible then you need to find out if you can have them fitted for a hearing aid. When your child has a hearing problem, it can affect all aspects of their life. It can affect their learning process and can cause them to have disciplinary problem. If you are able to find out early on if this is the problem then by having knowledge of the situation you can introduce methods into your household to help strop any disciplinary problems. If the child can’t hear you tell them not to do something then they will continue doing it. This also applies at school, if they can’t hear the teacher, then how are they going to learn the subject matter.
If you determine that they don’t have a hearing problem, then you need to find out something else that could be causing them to be overly loud. This could be that they feel like they are being ignored in your family. Children will increase the volume of their voice if they don’t feel they are getting the attention they deserve. The louder they get the more they are crying out for help. If this is the case, you need to make sure the child get the same amount of attention as his other siblings. If he isn’t being ignored and just wants attention then you need to deal with the situation in a way that he won’t feel like you are picking on him.
Another reason that your child could be overly loud is because that is the way their voice is. If they have a naturally loud voice, you don’t want to discourage them from talking because it will make them feel inferior. What you need to do is teach them the correct way to talk inside and outside. They just might like hearing the sound of their voice when it is loud. If you work with them and explain why being loud could have a negative impact they will be more likely to listen to you than if you just yell at them.
All children are different and you need to work with them on an individual basis. Every child has a reason for doing something and it could just be that they like the sound of their voice when it is loud. Once you are able to work out the reasons for having a loud child, you will be able to work on a strategy that is beneficial for both you and your child.
You need to eliminate problems that could be the cause of your child being loud. If it is a medical condition, where they have a problem with their hearing then you need to get them to a doctor to find out if it is reversible. If it is not reversible then you need to find out if you can have them fitted for a hearing aid. When your child has a hearing problem, it can affect all aspects of their life. It can affect their learning process and can cause them to have disciplinary problem. If you are able to find out early on if this is the problem then by having knowledge of the situation you can introduce methods into your household to help strop any disciplinary problems. If the child can’t hear you tell them not to do something then they will continue doing it. This also applies at school, if they can’t hear the teacher, then how are they going to learn the subject matter.
If you determine that they don’t have a hearing problem, then you need to find out something else that could be causing them to be overly loud. This could be that they feel like they are being ignored in your family. Children will increase the volume of their voice if they don’t feel they are getting the attention they deserve. The louder they get the more they are crying out for help. If this is the case, you need to make sure the child get the same amount of attention as his other siblings. If he isn’t being ignored and just wants attention then you need to deal with the situation in a way that he won’t feel like you are picking on him.
Another reason that your child could be overly loud is because that is the way their voice is. If they have a naturally loud voice, you don’t want to discourage them from talking because it will make them feel inferior. What you need to do is teach them the correct way to talk inside and outside. They just might like hearing the sound of their voice when it is loud. If you work with them and explain why being loud could have a negative impact they will be more likely to listen to you than if you just yell at them.
All children are different and you need to work with them on an individual basis. Every child has a reason for doing something and it could just be that they like the sound of their voice when it is loud. Once you are able to work out the reasons for having a loud child, you will be able to work on a strategy that is beneficial for both you and your child.
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