Friday, April 13, 2007

Testimonial: Postpartum depression from an individual perspective

When our son was born, it was the most glorious experience in my life. This little baby boy was adorable; he smiled quite a bit and would cuddle in your arms. It was an amazing feeling to just look at him while he slept, then it got so he would sleep and so would I. I figured this was normal; he is up during the night which means I was, so I figured I was supposed to sleep when he did.

It took me eighteen months to figure out what was going on and put a stop to it. I didn’t want to do anything. Not clean house, take a shower or even eat. I got quieter and quieter and it got so bad that there were days I wouldn’t even leave the house. My husband worked nights and after my son went to bed, I was up until about 5 a.m. every night. I would then go to sleep for about 2 hours and stay up until 5 a.m. the next morning. I knew I looked bad, but I really didn’t care. Nothing seemed to matter and I cried all the time.

I finally realized what was going on when a friend came over and started talking to me. She pointed out what she saw and wondered if there was anything she could do to help. By this time, my son and I would go out at night for about 30 minutes but that is the only time I left the house except to go grocery shopping if I couldn’t convince my husband to do it. Once I sat down and started looking at my life, I started to get worried that there was something wrong with me. But I was reading a magazine and saw an article about postpartum depression and realized I had most of the symptoms. I talked it over with my husband and we went to the doctor. He confirmed that I had it and we started on a method to get me through it.

I am very happy to note when I had my daughter when my son was three, I didn’t deal with the depression part of it. I am eternally grateful for that because it is something that no one should ever have to go through. It can completely destroy you if you let it.

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