Becoming a Better Parent

Before you become a parent you believe you are going to handle situations different than everyone else. Your child isn’t going to throw a temper tantrum in a store or your child is going to be better behaved in public. There are many different scenarios that you believe you will handle differently than the people you see around you. Parenting is just like any other job, it is a skill you have to learn with great patience involved. It isn’t something you just know how to do, you have to work at it and find the way that works for both you and your child. Listed below are a few concepts that might help you become a better parent, but remember just because something works with one child doesn’t mean it will work with all children.

TIME
Spending time with your children is essential to their growth and well-being. The more constructive time you spend with them the better they will be able to understand their boundaries and what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t allowed. By creating boundaries for children they are generally happier and better adjusted to their environment. They will be less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol because they know the results of these items in their lives. The time you devote to your children will be rewarded by children who are more comfortable with themselves and don’t feel they need to act out to get attention.

TELEVISION
Television isn’t a babysitter for children. Putting on the popular television shows for children isn’t the way to teach them how to read, talk to behave, unless you want a child who has a hard time reading, enjoys backtalking and misbehaves because they think it is funny. Many programs today are geared toward a child’s entertainment not necessarily the way you want them to behave.

We monitor the television shows our children watch and are thankful we do. Our children were watching a show as we walked through the room, the show stated that it was okay to lie as long as it was a small one. We immediately had the children turn the show off and banned the show from our house. The children have learned when there is a banned show that there is a reason behind it and besides asking for the reason of the banning, will generally follow our rules. Our daughter has even gone on to leave a house that was watching a show that she was banned from watching. We, as parents, have to be mindful of what our children have access to, whether it is television or the Internet. Most parents will monitor what their children does on the Internet, but don’t think twice about letting them watch anything on television. Some of the programs out there today aren’t appropriate for adults let alone children.
BOOKS
Banning books can be a dangerous subject, but it is our job as parents to monitor what media our children are exposed to which includes books. We have banned certain books from being read by our children and explained to them the reasons why. There are some things we don’t want them exposed to which include witchcraft and spells, because of this we have stopped them from reading certain books and they are in agreement with our choices. Not everyone will choose to ban certain books, but you need to watch what your children read because it could be too graphic for them whether in violence or in sexual exploits.

MUSIC
My son had a hard time when we informed him of certain musicians we wouldn’t allow him to listen to. We sat him down and reviewed the lyrics with him and explained the problem we had with some of them. Once he understood that some of the lyrics were inappropriate, i.e. suicidal, degrading, sexually explicit and too violent, he was able to agree with our choices. He is now at a point where he will come to us and ask us to review a band or singer to find out if they are appropriate to listen to, and has even rule out some bands because he didn’t agree with their lyrics.

As with anything with children, explaining why you are doing something is much easier than just saying absolutely not. If they understand why you are doing something they will be more inclined to agree and not go do it behind your back. By spending time with them, you get to know them as a person and know what they are capable of doing and you also get to know their friends, which will help you understand the outside influences in their lives. When we have children we are taking on the responsibility for life not just until they turn 18. They will move us to great acts of frustration and anger, but also greater feelings of love and happiness. Enjoy each moment you have with them because you will only have that moment once.