When kids should be allowed to date

There are a few different aspects to consider when you are thinking about allowing your child to date. You need to look at the maturity of the child, whether they are old enough and responsible enough to handle the emotions and requests that come with dating. You also need to look at the sex of the child, and I know this sounds wrong but as a parent of two children, I would allow my son to date at an earlier age than I would my daughter. The major reason for this is that he would be able to handle himself physically in a relationship and I wouldn’t have to worry about him being pushed into something he didn’t want to do.

When you allow your children to date at an early age you are thrusting them into the dating scene, which includes emotions that they aren’t used to dealing with. I agree that they do have to learn how to handle these emotions, but I would prefer for them to be mature enough to handle the feelings that are coming their way. I also believe that every girl should be given lessons in how to protect herself. She should also be taught that it is okay to say no to anything on a date. I am very thankful to my family for teaching me these things and we are working on teaching my daughter the same things.

I believe that many children are allowed to date too early in life. They aren’t allowed to enjoy their teenage years for what they are, they believe that if they aren’t dating then they are a misfit or aren’t good enough. Yes, I know in history girls were married extremely young and that is an argument that many people use now to allow children to date as young as 12 or younger. I believe that children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood; they shouldn’t be rushed into dating. We might allow my daughter to date at 15, but only on double dates and we might allow her to go out on a regular date at 16, but it will depend on her maturity level. But then again, my husband and daughter are in negotiations for the dating age and she has worked him down to age 28. We will see if she is able to work on her negotiation skills and lower the age.

http://www.helium.com/tm/182697/there-different-aspects-consider

Tips for increasing awareness and respect toward teenagers

Many people will tell you that they feel teenagers are a different entity. They don't understand how they think or why they act or dress the way they do, but these same people also don't take the time to get to know them. They don't talk to them and find out the answers to these questions. People generally don't want to have to make an effort to try and understand someone else's belief system.

The teenage years are a difficult time for most people and when they become an adult they try and put it behind them to become responsible members of society. Unfortunately, by putting up a mental block of this time of your life it makes it difficult to relate with anyone else going through it. Adults need to look beyond the heavy makeup, the strange hair styles and wild clothes to the individual underneath. Most teenagers are just trying to find out how they fit into the world. They have so many questions and they don't know how to ask them or even who to ask. Many times they just want someone to listen to them and not judge them by the way they look.

It is important to remember some of the clothing styles and attitudes we had as teenagers and give them a break. They are just trying to find their own comfort zone to be able to grow up and live a happy life. Take the time to talk to them and you will be surprised of not only the knowledge that they have but the questions and concerns they have about numeral subjects to include politics, the environment and financial stability. Teenagers are our future and as such we need to nurture them and help them grow and teach them to be responsible for their actions.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My daughter has always had an active imagination. You can be talking to her about grapes and she asks you a question about frogs. When you ask her how she changed the subject to frog she will explain to you that she likes grapes, especially the red ones, but she likes apples better and when she had an apple last time, her dog wanted a bite of it, and when think about her dog it will remind her of the frog she saw coming home from school. So, like I said she has an active imagination and her thought process will take you on a twisting and turning ride.

She was about 4 years old and we were reading the bible together as a family. It was the verse where Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for you and my daughter started getting antsy. She couldn’t sit still, but she waited until we were done reading before jumping up and down on the bed. When we asked her what she was excited about, she started laughing and giggling so much that it took us about 5 minutes to calm her down. Once we were able to she looked at us with a large smile and said I am going to have a pink castle. She said that God said he was going to go prepare a place for her and she was going to get a pink castle with sparkles. She looked at us, smiled and said I can’t wait to go to heaven; I want to have Jesus come see my pink castle. Then she asked, will you and dad come visit me there in my castle. She was so happy to hear that Jesus already had a place for her; she talked about it for years.

It is humbling to see this small child understand and relate to the bible and God’s word more than most adults. She was able to hear something and immediately know that she would have her castle in the clouds. She is 13 now and still occasionally talks about her castle in the sky, but she has since changed the color. We can see a new world when we look through the eyes of children. They are able to see things with clarity that we as adults are able to distinguish because of the bias we have developed over the years. To be able to view the world through the eyes of a child is a glorious revelation.

When your child wants to join the military

My 17 year old son is talking about going into the military. He is currently weighing his options to decide if he would prefer college or military. This is completely his decision but we do talk to him about his options. One of the options we are talking to him about is which branch he would join. His first inclination is toward the Army because he would like to be a sniper or special forces. He has already eliminated the Navy because he doesn't like water and he doesn't want to be a Marine. But his other alternative is the Air Force which is the branch that we are recommending to him if he doesn't decide to go to college. He is a bright child and would handle the Air Force better than the Army as it emphasizes your intelligence over the Army emphasizing your brawn. I know that he will make the decision that works best for him in the long run, whether that is the military or college.

As a parent we need to make sure that we support our children in the decisions they make. Now I don't mean let them do whatever they want, but they come to a certain age when the decision has to be theirs. I would be hypocritical if I didn't want my son to join the military. My family has been active members of the military for generations. My father was in the Army during WWII, along with two of my uncles. I have had 2 uncles in the Navy during the Korean War and a brother in the Marines during the Vietnam War. I have also had 2 other brothers in the Army and a sister in the Air Force. I have a brother-in-law that is retired Navy and I have a nephew that was in the Army. to top it all off both my husband and I were in the Air Force. Looking at the history of my family, it could be assumed that I would encourage my son to go in the military, but I won't do that. It is a decision he has to make and one he has to live with the rest of his life. If he thinks that going in the military is the right decision for him then his father and I will support his decision.

Parents should be proud their children have chosen a career in the military. It is a honorable profession and no matter what people think about the war we are in, it is important to always support our troops. If my son does chose this path, then we will pray everyday for God to look out for him and his troop, but we will honor his decision and support him with not only our words but our actions also. If it is important to him then it is important to us.

Packing fun and memories into your kid's 'snow day'

A storm is moving into the region, a large nor’easter or a blizzard across the state. You have been following the news and know that it is very likely the children won't have school tomorrow. This would be a great opportunity to have them clean their room, to get done the things they have been putting off doing because basically it was one of their least favorite things to do. You could do this, but is this the type of memory you want to leave with your children for snow days. Their friends got to play games and bake cookies and do fun things and they had to work. This is your opportunity to make special memories for your children that they will remember for the rest of their lives. It will also give you some memories for when your children are adults and move out of your home. So take the time and have some fun with your children on those rare (and not so rare) snow days. I have provided a few ideas of different things you can do to make this day special for all of you.

• No matter the age, most children love to play board games. This is a chance for you to sit down with them and not only play the games with them, but also have some quality time with them. You can talk about their interests, what they like and dislike. You will be amazed at the information you will receive from they. Your children want you to be a part of their lives, they are just waiting for you to show an interest.
• Bake a special dessert for dinner. You and your spouse will treasure it even more because your children helped make it. Let them help choose the recipe, talk it over. You might find that there are certain types of food they don't like, like chocolate or coconut. They might not like nuts or even raisins. This will give you both the opportunity to spend time together and it will help your child improve their self-esteem because they helped make dessert.
• Create a craft project together. Most houses that have children normally have supplies for basic crafts, i.e. yarn, construction paper, material, glue. You can go online and there are sites that provide information to create different crafts with children. Or you can let them create their own project and it will be amazing what they are able to design. Children have active imaginations and the information they retain and projects they create are astonishing.
• If you have younger children, you could read a book with them or watch a movie. The feelings they will have of you sitting down with them and spending time will be a moment that they will treasure. It will also help them stay calmer because they aren't trying to get your attention because they already have it, which will make for a more peaceful day for you.
• If you reach a lull in the storm, don’t think about going outside to shovel the walk or driveway. Instead think about going outside to build a snowman or igloo. You could challenge your children to a snowball fight, but be careful you just might lose. You could have a snowman building contest and try to build the largest or the widest snowman. There are many options that you have to play in the snow. You could go sledding down the nearby hill or even make snow angels. Let your children suggest some ideas; it is inspiring the information that they will provide to you. They might decide to build a whole village or even a town of igloos. One of the best aspects of playing in the snow with your children is going inside afterwards and being able to sit down together with a cup of hot chocolate. There isn’t anything like have hot chocolate on a cold winter day, especially after playing in the snow.
• Some children enjoy drawing, but realize not all children do. You could bring out the coloring books and drawing pads to create elaborate pictures together. Imagine your child coming home from school the next day and instead of the old oil painting on the wall you took the pictures she drew and hung them on your wall. You took the time to mat and frame them, you are able to show her how special you think she is and how proud you are of her. This will be a memory that she will not only cherish but likely pass down to her own children.
• If you have a daughter, this could be a chance for you to have an elaborate tea party with her. You both could get dressed up in your nicest dresses and have tea and cookies. You could either make the cookies together first (don’t want to get the nice dresses dirty) or you can use premade cookies. Use your best dishes and linens to portray an elegant tea party. If you have it use your nice tea set, because it is a special moment for her, she will be careful.
• Another idea that you can do to make a snow day special is to just spend time with your children. You can play with them, most children love when their parents play with them. Children enjoy spending time with their parents because it reinforces their belief that they are loved which will help them to grow up to be well-rounded individuals.

There are many things you can do to make a snow day special for you and your children. It is always better to leave our children with happy memories that they can cherish and take with them into adulthood. The values we teach our children are the most important legacies we could leave them with. It is our job as parents to help them make the happy memories, to teach them values and most important teach them to have fun in life. Life is too short to only worry about the obligations that we have, we need to focus on what is important in our lives and one of the most important is our children. We only have our children for a short period of time, enjoy them while you can.

Internet Safety

This is a touchy subject for quite a few parents and it isn't because they don't want to protect their children, this is upmost in their minds. It is a touchy subject because many parents do not know how to monitor their child's time on the web. Children today are growing up with the Internet, it is a mainstay of their life, because of this they are learning the ins and outs quicker and better than most parents. Some parents have never even touched a computer, much less learn how to monitor what their children are doing.

I had a friend ask me how to monitor what her son was doing on the Internet because she didn't know how. This is the key, if you don't know what your children are doing and don't have an idea how to find out, ask someone. Here are a few of the ways I showed her how to monitor what her son was doing on the Internet.

1. Check the temporary Internet files to see what websites he has visited. This is a folder that saves what websites the computer has gone to for a certain amount of time.

2. Check the cookies folder. When you go to some websites, a cookie is downloaded to your computer to identify you on the website. You can view these and see what websites the child has gone to.

3. Make sure you have antivirus software on your computer. With Norton you can limit what type of sites your child can go to. If you find that they were able to go to a site that should have been blocked, let Norton know and they will add it to their list.

4. Check recent documents. This will show if they have viewed any documents that are inappropriate to include pictures.

5. Check the history folder. This is for the same reason as the temporary Internet folder. It will let you know what websites your children have gone to recently.

6. Turn on the logs in the chat room files. You will need to read through the logs to find out what has been said and who your child has been talking to.

7. Talk to your children, give approval for what sites you will allow them to go to. If you don't want them to talk on MySpace, then let them know or you can let them have access but only when you are around to monitor it.

There are quite a few different methods where you can monitor your children on the Internet, but it all comes down to that the parent has to take responsibility of monitoring what they are doing. The child is curious and wants to explore and learn new things, sometimes things that we as parents deem inappropriate. But this is our decision to make and it is up to us to enforce our rules and make sure that their lives are as safe as we can make them.

The Pet Patrol

When it comes to your children and pets, they want as many as they can get away with having. It is up to you as the parent to put control over how many you will allow in the house, otherwise you will be overrun with animals.

My son is happy with his dog, he has come to the realization that cleaning up after a pet is not his favorite thing to do. He likes to play with him, take him outside, feed and groom him, but when it comes to the clean up, he would prefer not to do it. So he is happy with one dog.

My daughter on the other hand would love to have as many pets as possible. She would like birds, cats, dogs, fish, hamsters, and anything that isn't a reptile. She doesn't think about the clean up until she is told to do it. She just loves animals. If it wasn't for some animals dieing she would become a vet, but she has a hard time with the thought of putting an animal to sleep. Instead she is thinking about becoming a horse breeder, because she is the only person I know who has liked horses since she was 2 years old and she is now 13.

So if you decide to get your children pets, make sure they are suitable for your home. If you live in an apartment it probably isn't feasible to own a large dog. If you are allergic to cats, it isn't a good idea to own one, this is why we don't own any cats, my husband is allergic. You also need to determine how much time you have to spend with an animal, if you work long hours and aren't home a lot it probably isn't a good idea to own a dog because they require time. They have a hard time when they are left alone for long periods of time. It is always important to look into animals and what there characteristics are like before you decide to buy one, because once you do, then they are your responsibility until they die. Remember fish have short life spans and don't require a lot of attention.

Once again this is the ramblings of a parent of teenagers trying to find wisdom, one article at a time.
Patti

The Money Tree

My husband and I were talking a few years ago about how to teach our children to be responsible with money. We still haven't figured this out, but we are working on it. Here are a few ideas that we use to help them learn about the value of money and how to make it to a point where they don't have to work unless they want to.

The first step is to teach them how much money they actually have. If they have $10 a week for allowance, how much do they really have?

• $1.00 goes to church (10%)
• $1.00 goes to savings (10%)
• $2.00 goes to taxes (20%)
• $6.00 goes to what they want to spend it on

So actually they don't get $10.00 for allowance, they get $6.00. We wanted to teach them, that first you pay God, because that is where the money comes from. Second you pay yourself, savings. Third you pay taxes, they don't have to worry about this for an allowance, but they will when they get a job. Fourth they have to pay an household bills, if they have borrowed money through the week or asked for a specific product, they have to pay back what they owe and the rest they get to spend.

Second by teaching them to pay God as a child, we are getting them into the habit at an early age so that when they are an adult they will do it willingly and then God can bless them in the way they are entitled.

Thirdly, by teaching them to pay themselves through their savings, it will help them to become comfortable enough that they won't have to work at a job they hate. No matter what the pay is they will be able to work at a job they love. The money they have put into savings is then used to invest and make the money work for them. This can be done through investing in stocks and bonds, or putting it into a savings account that offers interest, now look into the savings accounts before you deposit the money into it, because our local banks only offer .15% interest (yes, the decimal is where it is supposed to be) by researching different banks, we found a bank that is currently offering 6%. So instead of earning $.0015 on a dollar, I will be earning $.06 on the dollar.

My daughter was interested in investing, so we let her research a stock and she ended up buying one share. Before she sold the stock, she had made $5 on a $32 stock. She was excited and she is still researching different stocks to find out any new ones she wants to buy. She looks at stocks for markets she knows something about and buys from those markets.

By teaching them now that they have to pay taxes for the rest of their life, it will be easier for them to learn how to budget their money. They won't just take their gross amount and think they have that much to spend. They will be able to figure out exactly what they have and be able to have a better budget to live off of.

We hope by working with our children now that they won't have to go through the same trials that we went through. We are trying to impart our knowledge at a time when they might listen to use and understand the ramifications of good money handling skills. If this article interested you, then I would recommend a good book that we have read and are having our children read, it is called "The Richest Man In Babylon" by George S. Clason. It breaks down the principles that everyone needs to learn to have your money work for you, not you work for money. It is an easy read and your children will be able to understand it.

I hope this was helpful to everyone. Enjoy your children, they are only teenagers once!

Patti

Let's Rock 'n Roll

Should we, as parents sensor what kind of music our children listen to or should we let them have their freedom and choose what they want to listen to? This is a tough question and one many parents would prefer not to make.

When I was a teenager, I was allowed to listen to any music I chose to listen to. It didn't matter if I listened to heavy metal, rap, country, or disco. My parents always gave us the freedom to listen to what we wanted. This is once stance you can take as a parent, but is it the stance you should take.

As a parent, I listen to the music my children like. If there is a new band that they would like to listen to, they ask first and we listen to it together. We pull up the lyrics and decide if they are appropriate for them to hear. I think this is an important part of a parents job. I have friends who children are allowed to listen to anything they want, it doesn't matter what type of music.

One of the children came over to our house and was talking to my son about this new group and did he want to listen to the CD. My son told him that he had to clear it with me first because from what he had heard about the group they degraded people and especially women. The boy was shocked over this, but he said something that brings it into perspective. He said, your mom monitors what you listen to? My son answered, not only what I listen to, but what I watch also. The boy said, Man, I wish my mom did that.

Our children's lifestyle depends on us as parents, we are the ones responsible for helping them make the right decisions. If we allow them to listen to and watch whatever they want, then we aren't teaching them that there are correct ways to behave and incorrect ways. By putting restrictions on our children, we can help them grow into responsible, caring adults. They will be able to make decisions on the content of items not just because their friends are doing it. If I can teach my children to research things before they endorse them, whether by listening, watching, buying or even talking about them, I have helped them succeed in life.