As a parent it is part of your job to teach your children to take care of themselves. One of the aspects of doing this is to teach children to be assertive because you do not want people to use them as a doormat. You also have to be mindful that you don’t want your children to walk all over other people so you have to make sure that they need to be assertive while still remaining humble.
There are certain things you need to do when you are working on teaching your children to be assertive. You need to teach them that while arguing with parents is not acceptable having open discussion is allowed. They need to know the rules in the house are important but if they come up with a change to the rules and approach the parents in a respectable manner then you will talk to them and figure out if their new method would work.
If you work with your children and show them that if you approach people in a respectable manner they will be more likely to listen to you. They need to learn that being rude to people is not the same as being assertive. To be assertive is not being shy about expressing your opinion and it is important to teach children this, which can be handled by example and talking to them. It is also important that no matter how important you think your opinion is, you should never make someone else feel inferior because they believe something different than you.
Children learn by example. That is how they have learned to read and talk and many other things. That is also how they learn to be assertive. When you teach your child to be assertive you are helping them to succeed in life, but you need to make sure you temper their assertiveness with a good dose of humility. They need to learn that their opinion is not the only one in the world and having other people voice their opinion will help to create new and sometimes better ideas.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Parenting teens: Knowing how to choose your battles
As with anything in life it is important to pick the battles that will make a difference. If you are constantly bickering with your teenager then you won’t accomplish anything except alienate him or her. Your goal as a parent is to pick the battles that are important. If it is important to you that your child do well in school then that is a battle you can pick, but is it smart to fight over your child getting a B instead of an A. Those are the types of questions you need to ask yourself.
Your children will go through many changes in their teenage years. You will wonder if they have been invaded by the pod people, but sit back and see how they are handling things before you jump into the fray. If you don’t like one of their friends they look at their other friends and see if they are a good influence on your teenager. If they have one friend that is a bad influence, decide if it is worth it to start a fight over, because remember that you could push your teenager right into the friendship. But if you monitor the situation then if you see your child pulling away from the “good” kids then you might have cause for concern. Remember though that you don’t see the actual behavior of the child when they aren’t around you. The child who you thought was a good influence could be the one that is doing drugs and drinking while the one that you think is bad is struggling to improve himself to succeed in the real world. If you forbid a child to do something, they are more likely to try it than if you talk to them about your reasons.
The most important thing is that you need to choose the battles that matter. While it is important to handle the situation when your child gets surly it is more important to deal with your child experimenting with drugs and alcohol. If you are grounding your child on a consistent basis then it will lose its effectiveness, so will have to work on coming up with new ways to punish or restrict your child on a continual basis. Instead you want to focus on teaching your child the correct way to handle a situation that way you don’t have to worry about battles as much because they know the correct way to act and knows that there will be repercussions for their actions.
Children are trying to find their place in the world. They don’t feel comfortable in their skin and just want to fit in. During their teenage years is when they are trying to find the sweet spot that will help them to find their place. They are trying to discover what they are supposed to be when they grow up and most don’t have a clue. They are dealing with hormones that are completely out of synch and one moment they are smiling and the next crying. If you get upset every time they do then you will be on the rollercoaster ride with them and they need you to be the rock that keeps them grounded. They will push you and try to get their way, but they know that it won’t always happen, but you need to decide which issues are the important ones and which ones you will let them have control over.
Your children will go through many changes in their teenage years. You will wonder if they have been invaded by the pod people, but sit back and see how they are handling things before you jump into the fray. If you don’t like one of their friends they look at their other friends and see if they are a good influence on your teenager. If they have one friend that is a bad influence, decide if it is worth it to start a fight over, because remember that you could push your teenager right into the friendship. But if you monitor the situation then if you see your child pulling away from the “good” kids then you might have cause for concern. Remember though that you don’t see the actual behavior of the child when they aren’t around you. The child who you thought was a good influence could be the one that is doing drugs and drinking while the one that you think is bad is struggling to improve himself to succeed in the real world. If you forbid a child to do something, they are more likely to try it than if you talk to them about your reasons.
The most important thing is that you need to choose the battles that matter. While it is important to handle the situation when your child gets surly it is more important to deal with your child experimenting with drugs and alcohol. If you are grounding your child on a consistent basis then it will lose its effectiveness, so will have to work on coming up with new ways to punish or restrict your child on a continual basis. Instead you want to focus on teaching your child the correct way to handle a situation that way you don’t have to worry about battles as much because they know the correct way to act and knows that there will be repercussions for their actions.
Children are trying to find their place in the world. They don’t feel comfortable in their skin and just want to fit in. During their teenage years is when they are trying to find the sweet spot that will help them to find their place. They are trying to discover what they are supposed to be when they grow up and most don’t have a clue. They are dealing with hormones that are completely out of synch and one moment they are smiling and the next crying. If you get upset every time they do then you will be on the rollercoaster ride with them and they need you to be the rock that keeps them grounded. They will push you and try to get their way, but they know that it won’t always happen, but you need to decide which issues are the important ones and which ones you will let them have control over.
Asking older children to babysit for siblings: Guidelines
When people decide to have children they need to look at more aspects than just the joy of parenthood. There are many issues long term that need to be decided upon, long before you become pregnant for the child. One of these is child care. Most parents will research different day care facilities and try to find one that fits within their budget. They will look for the most qualified teachers and caregivers to look after their children, but once their children start school they believe they will have it easier. Parents won’t have to pay as much because the child only needs before and after school care, but then one of your children reach an age where they can legally watch their siblings. At this point, most parents are looking at the financial aspect of being able to save on childcare, but there are a few other points parents need to review before they decide to ask their older child to babysit their siblings.
Homework. One of the aspects that parents will enjoy is that their children will be able to work on their homework before the parents get home. But parents need to be careful that they set the rules for the older sibling. If the parents want the older sibling to be responsible for the younger ones doing their homework then you need to be prepared for a battle. There is natural sibling rivalry between family and when you put one child in charge of another and give them authority it is going to get heated and you could end up with a child getting hurt or one of the children could become withdrawn and quiet. It is best to have the children do their homework but the older child is not responsible for making sure it gets done, so that you are able to remove a bone of contention from the situation before it becomes a problem.
Food. This was always a large problem in our family. The older child believed it was his responsibility to make sure that his siblings didn’t have too much food. You need to make sure you inform all of the children the rules for snacks until you get home. It helps to make one shelf of the refrigerator the only shelf they are allowed to get food from and this works for the pantry also. This way you can put food on that shelf and even label it if you like and then the children know the guidelines they have to follow on a daily basis.
Television. The only way we found for this to work was that each child had a scheduled time to use the television. They could play a game on it or watch a television show, but they could only use it during their designated time. Even if they decided not to use it at that time, the other children weren’t allowed to take over the television. By doing this we were able to cut down on the number of fights over the television and in the process separate the children so there was limited exposure.
Computer. This worked the same way as the television. They weren’t allowed to exchange their time with their siblings, but had to stick to their original scheduled time. If they were in the middle of a game and wouldn’t finish for another 30 minutes they still had to stop whatever they were doing to turn the computer over to their sibling. By setting up the schedule the children learned to keep an eye on the clock to make sure they were at a save point in the game they were playing.
When you leave your children home alone, you need to make sure that you have put guidelines in place to help them as much as possible. Even though you can’t afford to stay home with your children you need to let them keep their childhood. By setting up the guidelines it helps them to stay within their boundaries and not be overwhelmed with responsibility. You don’t want your children to grow up before their time, let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible.
Homework. One of the aspects that parents will enjoy is that their children will be able to work on their homework before the parents get home. But parents need to be careful that they set the rules for the older sibling. If the parents want the older sibling to be responsible for the younger ones doing their homework then you need to be prepared for a battle. There is natural sibling rivalry between family and when you put one child in charge of another and give them authority it is going to get heated and you could end up with a child getting hurt or one of the children could become withdrawn and quiet. It is best to have the children do their homework but the older child is not responsible for making sure it gets done, so that you are able to remove a bone of contention from the situation before it becomes a problem.
Food. This was always a large problem in our family. The older child believed it was his responsibility to make sure that his siblings didn’t have too much food. You need to make sure you inform all of the children the rules for snacks until you get home. It helps to make one shelf of the refrigerator the only shelf they are allowed to get food from and this works for the pantry also. This way you can put food on that shelf and even label it if you like and then the children know the guidelines they have to follow on a daily basis.
Television. The only way we found for this to work was that each child had a scheduled time to use the television. They could play a game on it or watch a television show, but they could only use it during their designated time. Even if they decided not to use it at that time, the other children weren’t allowed to take over the television. By doing this we were able to cut down on the number of fights over the television and in the process separate the children so there was limited exposure.
Computer. This worked the same way as the television. They weren’t allowed to exchange their time with their siblings, but had to stick to their original scheduled time. If they were in the middle of a game and wouldn’t finish for another 30 minutes they still had to stop whatever they were doing to turn the computer over to their sibling. By setting up the schedule the children learned to keep an eye on the clock to make sure they were at a save point in the game they were playing.
When you leave your children home alone, you need to make sure that you have put guidelines in place to help them as much as possible. Even though you can’t afford to stay home with your children you need to let them keep their childhood. By setting up the guidelines it helps them to stay within their boundaries and not be overwhelmed with responsibility. You don’t want your children to grow up before their time, let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible.
The drama of young girls and why it's important to listen
When it comes to girls, I believe drama is completely entwined into their DNA. They can take a simple tale of walking to their next class and embellish it to become an elaborate journey into the heart of the unknown. If they dropped a book in the hallway, they will talk to you about the injustice being done to children, the inhumanity of having them carry so much weight. Children and girls especially have a knack of taking a simple story and making it into a novel.
As a parent you need to be able to listen to your children and understand what they are talking about. You need to hear everything they have to say because one of the things they tell you might be something of extreme importance. But even then it is all important because it is important to her. You need to make her feel special; that you are interested in her life and want to know how her day went. By listening to her tell you about her day you find out little tidbit that she hides within the drama of her stories.
Girls will take the story of going into the classroom and tell you about it because something happened that she wants you to know about. She doesn’t feel comfortable about coming right out and saying what it is but she still wants you to know. It is your job as a parent to decipher these stories to be able to understand what it is she is saying. Because within her story, she could be telling you that a boy asked her on a date or she is having a hard time in the class.
Parents need to learn to decipher all of their children’s conversations not just girls, but with girls it is normally embedded within another story. This is how girls tell their parents about the things that happen in their life. It is how parents can find out if there is a problem that they need to resolve or if it is a cry for help. It can also be a way to show the parents how happy they are and how much they enjoy life. It is also important to remember that it can also be a way to play with their imagination. They know they can open up their minds and let their imaginations have free rein in their story telling. It frees them from the daily tensions in life. But the parents need to listen to their children to understand which areas are pure story and which are the true parts of life.
As a parent you need to be able to listen to your children and understand what they are talking about. You need to hear everything they have to say because one of the things they tell you might be something of extreme importance. But even then it is all important because it is important to her. You need to make her feel special; that you are interested in her life and want to know how her day went. By listening to her tell you about her day you find out little tidbit that she hides within the drama of her stories.
Girls will take the story of going into the classroom and tell you about it because something happened that she wants you to know about. She doesn’t feel comfortable about coming right out and saying what it is but she still wants you to know. It is your job as a parent to decipher these stories to be able to understand what it is she is saying. Because within her story, she could be telling you that a boy asked her on a date or she is having a hard time in the class.
Parents need to learn to decipher all of their children’s conversations not just girls, but with girls it is normally embedded within another story. This is how girls tell their parents about the things that happen in their life. It is how parents can find out if there is a problem that they need to resolve or if it is a cry for help. It can also be a way to show the parents how happy they are and how much they enjoy life. It is also important to remember that it can also be a way to play with their imagination. They know they can open up their minds and let their imaginations have free rein in their story telling. It frees them from the daily tensions in life. But the parents need to listen to their children to understand which areas are pure story and which are the true parts of life.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Strategies for coping with and helping loud children
Just because children are loud does not mean that they are bad children. There could be several factors that could contribute to your child being overly loud. If you have a child who speaks loudly then you need to determine what is the reason they are being this way.
You need to eliminate problems that could be the cause of your child being loud. If it is a medical condition, where they have a problem with their hearing then you need to get them to a doctor to find out if it is reversible. If it is not reversible then you need to find out if you can have them fitted for a hearing aid. When your child has a hearing problem, it can affect all aspects of their life. It can affect their learning process and can cause them to have disciplinary problem. If you are able to find out early on if this is the problem then by having knowledge of the situation you can introduce methods into your household to help strop any disciplinary problems. If the child can’t hear you tell them not to do something then they will continue doing it. This also applies at school, if they can’t hear the teacher, then how are they going to learn the subject matter.
If you determine that they don’t have a hearing problem, then you need to find out something else that could be causing them to be overly loud. This could be that they feel like they are being ignored in your family. Children will increase the volume of their voice if they don’t feel they are getting the attention they deserve. The louder they get the more they are crying out for help. If this is the case, you need to make sure the child get the same amount of attention as his other siblings. If he isn’t being ignored and just wants attention then you need to deal with the situation in a way that he won’t feel like you are picking on him.
Another reason that your child could be overly loud is because that is the way their voice is. If they have a naturally loud voice, you don’t want to discourage them from talking because it will make them feel inferior. What you need to do is teach them the correct way to talk inside and outside. They just might like hearing the sound of their voice when it is loud. If you work with them and explain why being loud could have a negative impact they will be more likely to listen to you than if you just yell at them.
All children are different and you need to work with them on an individual basis. Every child has a reason for doing something and it could just be that they like the sound of their voice when it is loud. Once you are able to work out the reasons for having a loud child, you will be able to work on a strategy that is beneficial for both you and your child.
You need to eliminate problems that could be the cause of your child being loud. If it is a medical condition, where they have a problem with their hearing then you need to get them to a doctor to find out if it is reversible. If it is not reversible then you need to find out if you can have them fitted for a hearing aid. When your child has a hearing problem, it can affect all aspects of their life. It can affect their learning process and can cause them to have disciplinary problem. If you are able to find out early on if this is the problem then by having knowledge of the situation you can introduce methods into your household to help strop any disciplinary problems. If the child can’t hear you tell them not to do something then they will continue doing it. This also applies at school, if they can’t hear the teacher, then how are they going to learn the subject matter.
If you determine that they don’t have a hearing problem, then you need to find out something else that could be causing them to be overly loud. This could be that they feel like they are being ignored in your family. Children will increase the volume of their voice if they don’t feel they are getting the attention they deserve. The louder they get the more they are crying out for help. If this is the case, you need to make sure the child get the same amount of attention as his other siblings. If he isn’t being ignored and just wants attention then you need to deal with the situation in a way that he won’t feel like you are picking on him.
Another reason that your child could be overly loud is because that is the way their voice is. If they have a naturally loud voice, you don’t want to discourage them from talking because it will make them feel inferior. What you need to do is teach them the correct way to talk inside and outside. They just might like hearing the sound of their voice when it is loud. If you work with them and explain why being loud could have a negative impact they will be more likely to listen to you than if you just yell at them.
All children are different and you need to work with them on an individual basis. Every child has a reason for doing something and it could just be that they like the sound of their voice when it is loud. Once you are able to work out the reasons for having a loud child, you will be able to work on a strategy that is beneficial for both you and your child.
Determining allowance for teens
When you are determining what children should be paid for chores or if they should be paid, you need to decide if they will get paid on an individual chore basis or on the chores as a whole. Many parents believe that it is the child’s responsibility to do chores on a weekly basis. It is the parents’ way of teaching them responsibility. Like if they wanted a pet, it would be up to them to handle the upkeep of the pet, whether it would include feeding, bathing, or cleaning up after them. Also some parents believe that the child lives in the house and they need to contribute to the household and since they do not have an income coming in then they can do this through chores.
Some parents believe that it is beneficial to pay their children for chores. If the child has a list of chores and they do all of their chores each week then they get a set amount. One way to handle if the child doesn’t do the assigned chores, you can take away part of the allowance for each chore not done. If they are supposed to earn ten cents for making their bed on a daily basis and they didn’t do it on Wednesday, then they owe you five cents. This can be a very effective way to make sure your child does their chores.
Another way that the chores and allowance can be structured is that the child has a list of chores and if they do all of their chores but one then they don’t get their allowance. This will keep the child from only doing the chores they don’t mind and skipping the ones they don’t like. This can be a good tool to teach them that there will always be tasks that you don’t like but still have to do. With this method it is easier to make sure your children do their chores because they want to get their allowance.
Children benefit from having chores on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. It teaches them to be responsible for the household not only for themselves but for everyone. If you work on teaching your children responsibility at a young age they are more likely to continue doing their chores as they get older. It is always up to the parents to decide if they child will get paid for their chores. At no point in time is it a requirement for them doing chores. Without chores in their lives, children do not learn the general duties for taking care of a household. They need to learn how to keep a clean house, wash clothes and take care of the pets. By teaching your children these things you are helping them grow into responsible adults.
Some parents believe that it is beneficial to pay their children for chores. If the child has a list of chores and they do all of their chores each week then they get a set amount. One way to handle if the child doesn’t do the assigned chores, you can take away part of the allowance for each chore not done. If they are supposed to earn ten cents for making their bed on a daily basis and they didn’t do it on Wednesday, then they owe you five cents. This can be a very effective way to make sure your child does their chores.
Another way that the chores and allowance can be structured is that the child has a list of chores and if they do all of their chores but one then they don’t get their allowance. This will keep the child from only doing the chores they don’t mind and skipping the ones they don’t like. This can be a good tool to teach them that there will always be tasks that you don’t like but still have to do. With this method it is easier to make sure your children do their chores because they want to get their allowance.
Children benefit from having chores on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. It teaches them to be responsible for the household not only for themselves but for everyone. If you work on teaching your children responsibility at a young age they are more likely to continue doing their chores as they get older. It is always up to the parents to decide if they child will get paid for their chores. At no point in time is it a requirement for them doing chores. Without chores in their lives, children do not learn the general duties for taking care of a household. They need to learn how to keep a clean house, wash clothes and take care of the pets. By teaching your children these things you are helping them grow into responsible adults.
Treating your kids fairly even if they behave differently
When raising children it is important to remember that no two children are alike. Your children might have similarities but they can also be complete opposites. For each child the punishment they receive has to be structured to how it will help them grow and learn. This also applies to rewards as giving one child a verbal congratulations the other child could be upset that you didn’t give him a hug instead. Even if methods worked for one child you can never be sure that they will work for another child even if they are twins.
If you have to punish your children you need to take into account a few different aspects of each child. You need to determine which type of punishment works best. If one of your children hates to read, taking reading away from him won’t be affective, but if your other child does. It could be the worst punishment you could ever mete out. One child might not like to eat, so if you punish them by having them go to bed without supper then they are happy and you aren’t punishing them. That is why you have to understand your children before you start deciding what punishment works best for each individual child.
The reward system for children should be handled in the same way. If you have a child that doesn’t like to be touched then giving them a hug when they do something well will seem like a punishment to them. On the other hand if you have a child that is very demonstrative and you tell her good job without a hug then she feels like she did something wrong. You always need to be mindful of your child and their personality in not only punishments but in rewards also.
All children are different; they think differently and react to situations differently. It is up to you as the parent to find out what type of behavior is most appropriate for your child. The best way to do this is to get to know them, which means spending time with them in a consistent manner. Not only will it help you to understand your children, but the enjoyment you will receive from the contact will be with you for the rest of your life.
If you have to punish your children you need to take into account a few different aspects of each child. You need to determine which type of punishment works best. If one of your children hates to read, taking reading away from him won’t be affective, but if your other child does. It could be the worst punishment you could ever mete out. One child might not like to eat, so if you punish them by having them go to bed without supper then they are happy and you aren’t punishing them. That is why you have to understand your children before you start deciding what punishment works best for each individual child.
The reward system for children should be handled in the same way. If you have a child that doesn’t like to be touched then giving them a hug when they do something well will seem like a punishment to them. On the other hand if you have a child that is very demonstrative and you tell her good job without a hug then she feels like she did something wrong. You always need to be mindful of your child and their personality in not only punishments but in rewards also.
All children are different; they think differently and react to situations differently. It is up to you as the parent to find out what type of behavior is most appropriate for your child. The best way to do this is to get to know them, which means spending time with them in a consistent manner. Not only will it help you to understand your children, but the enjoyment you will receive from the contact will be with you for the rest of your life.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Great gift ideas for teenage girls
Most teenage girls are easy to buy for. If they don’t let you know what they want, which they are very vocal with then there is normally a couple of ideas you can use that are full proof. They want to start feeling like they are an adult, so you have to think along those lines when you are shopping for them. Here are a couple of ideas that you can use when you have run out of ideas to get her something.
Collectibles. Almost all teenagers like to collect things, whether it is horses, fairies, animals, frogs, anything. They love to collect things and they place them all over their room. You can either find out what they collect and buy them something for their collection or even expand their collection into something new. If they collect statues then you can get them a blanket or picture with what they collect on it. I would steer away from clothing as teenage girls are very picky about what they will wear.
Jewelry. I do not know a teenage girl that doesn’t like jewelry. It doesn’t matter if it is gaudy or elegant, she will love it. Something to keep in mind though is if she doesn’t have her ears pierced, don’t buy her earrings. But they love bracelets, necklaces, rings and if you get them in sets, they like that too.
Nail Polish. If you don’t know if the parents allow her to wear makeup then don’t go into the facial makeup, but most parents allow nail polish. Teenage girls really like the outlandish colors, from blue and green to colors that sparkle. You can also get her a kit that she can use to do her own manicures, with the brushes, scissors and polishes.
Day Spa. If you want to get a little more extravagant, plan a trip to a day spa for her, let her get her hair done, maybe a facial, manicure and pedicure. She will love it and remember the day for a long time. We used to plan a day at the spa every couple of months to have mother daughter time. It is well worth the extra money to have that bonding time.
These are just a couple of ideas that you can use. Teenage girls are fairly easy to buy for, they like things that sparkle and like to collect things. One of the best gifts for my daughter is a gift certificate to the book store. She loves to read and has many favorite authors. If you find out a little bit about the teenager before you go shopping, it will make it much easier.
Collectibles. Almost all teenagers like to collect things, whether it is horses, fairies, animals, frogs, anything. They love to collect things and they place them all over their room. You can either find out what they collect and buy them something for their collection or even expand their collection into something new. If they collect statues then you can get them a blanket or picture with what they collect on it. I would steer away from clothing as teenage girls are very picky about what they will wear.
Jewelry. I do not know a teenage girl that doesn’t like jewelry. It doesn’t matter if it is gaudy or elegant, she will love it. Something to keep in mind though is if she doesn’t have her ears pierced, don’t buy her earrings. But they love bracelets, necklaces, rings and if you get them in sets, they like that too.
Nail Polish. If you don’t know if the parents allow her to wear makeup then don’t go into the facial makeup, but most parents allow nail polish. Teenage girls really like the outlandish colors, from blue and green to colors that sparkle. You can also get her a kit that she can use to do her own manicures, with the brushes, scissors and polishes.
Day Spa. If you want to get a little more extravagant, plan a trip to a day spa for her, let her get her hair done, maybe a facial, manicure and pedicure. She will love it and remember the day for a long time. We used to plan a day at the spa every couple of months to have mother daughter time. It is well worth the extra money to have that bonding time.
These are just a couple of ideas that you can use. Teenage girls are fairly easy to buy for, they like things that sparkle and like to collect things. One of the best gifts for my daughter is a gift certificate to the book store. She loves to read and has many favorite authors. If you find out a little bit about the teenager before you go shopping, it will make it much easier.
Monday, March 12, 2007
The nature of a mother's love
Whether you decide to have children or if it is a surprise, the love a mother feels for her children is unsurpassed. Now, I am not saying that there aren’t bad mother’s out there, people who should never have had children, but for the most part mother’s love their children with all of their heart. I believe the depth of this love comes from something that has been instilled in us from the beginning. There is a place in all of our hearts that is reserved for the children we will have, whether we give birth to them or if they are adopted. This part of our heart has the capacity to love our children like nothing else.
I believe God instilled in us the ability to love our children at times more than ourselves. We sacrifice for them, whether it is giving up food or clothing so that they don’t go without. There have been many times I would go with much less so that my children didn’t suffer. When you become a parent they become your world. That is the way it should be, they should be your focus. Without you they won’t learn how to be responsible adults, how to have fun and enjoy life.
Father’s fall into this category also. Unfortunately, they aren’t able to spend the time with children that mothers are because they have to work to support the family. They sacrifice in a different way; they sacrifice their time so that their children don’t have to suffer. Families need to work on spending the time together to overcome the obstacles that society puts in place to stymie parents and their relationship with their children. Both parents have to build a relationship with their children that is open for communication and discussions. This doesn’t mean that you allow your children to rule the household. They still have rules to follow and have to realize the parents have the final say, but if parents talk to their children the teenage years will be much easier.
Most people think of children and their hearts melt. They think of the little babies and the cute toddlers and it is this feeling that people receive that is the basis for the love we have for our children. It is all encompassing and never ending. When our children our born, they grasp your finger for the first time and they smile into your eyes and you are hooked from day one. Children are the epitome of love.
I believe God instilled in us the ability to love our children at times more than ourselves. We sacrifice for them, whether it is giving up food or clothing so that they don’t go without. There have been many times I would go with much less so that my children didn’t suffer. When you become a parent they become your world. That is the way it should be, they should be your focus. Without you they won’t learn how to be responsible adults, how to have fun and enjoy life.
Father’s fall into this category also. Unfortunately, they aren’t able to spend the time with children that mothers are because they have to work to support the family. They sacrifice in a different way; they sacrifice their time so that their children don’t have to suffer. Families need to work on spending the time together to overcome the obstacles that society puts in place to stymie parents and their relationship with their children. Both parents have to build a relationship with their children that is open for communication and discussions. This doesn’t mean that you allow your children to rule the household. They still have rules to follow and have to realize the parents have the final say, but if parents talk to their children the teenage years will be much easier.
Most people think of children and their hearts melt. They think of the little babies and the cute toddlers and it is this feeling that people receive that is the basis for the love we have for our children. It is all encompassing and never ending. When our children our born, they grasp your finger for the first time and they smile into your eyes and you are hooked from day one. Children are the epitome of love.
Friday, March 9, 2007
What to think when your child's grades take the plunge
When children are doing well in school parents normally are relieved that they are doing what they think is supposed to be done. The thought that go through their mind is yes, I am doing this right, so I don’t have to worry. But when a child’s grade plummet then parents look closely at different aspects to find out what is going wrong and how they can help their child.
One of the items that parents look at is the quality of teaching. Is my child’s teacher teaching them the way they are supposed to be taught? Does the teacher not like my child? What could the teacher do different to help my child? These are all valuable questions and the best thing to do when your child’s grades plummet is to have a parent teacher conference to make sure the teacher and parent are viewing the information accurately. There will be times that a teacher just does not like a student for whatever reason, even though we know teachers are supposed to be above this type of attitude, but it does happen. That is why it is crucial for parents and teachers to meet to find the problem that the child is having. If the problem is that the teacher does not like your child then you need to make an appointment with the administrator of the school, whether it is a principal or dean, to have your child removed from the classroom. If it is not then the parent and teacher need to find something to help the child to improve their grades.
Another problem that could be happening is that the child has a new teacher and they have a different style than the last teacher and the child doesn’t respond as well to the teaching method. This is neither the fault of the teacher or the student, but it is still something that needs to be addressed. It is important at that time to have a meeting with the teacher to find an acceptable method to help the child improve. This could be moving the child to another classroom or just into another part of his current classroom. Sometimes when you remove a child from a group of children then it will help them to be able to focus on the teacher instead of his friends around him.
The most important part of your children while they are in school is to have open communication with the teacher and administrative staff. If both sides know that if a problem arises that one or the other can be contacted then the problem won’t fester out of control and it can be handled in a quick and efficient manner. Children should not be placed in a position at school that makes it difficult for them to learn. It is up to the parents and teachers to work together to make the transition between home and school as seamless as possible. Both parties want the same thing, for the child to succeed and grow.
One of the items that parents look at is the quality of teaching. Is my child’s teacher teaching them the way they are supposed to be taught? Does the teacher not like my child? What could the teacher do different to help my child? These are all valuable questions and the best thing to do when your child’s grades plummet is to have a parent teacher conference to make sure the teacher and parent are viewing the information accurately. There will be times that a teacher just does not like a student for whatever reason, even though we know teachers are supposed to be above this type of attitude, but it does happen. That is why it is crucial for parents and teachers to meet to find the problem that the child is having. If the problem is that the teacher does not like your child then you need to make an appointment with the administrator of the school, whether it is a principal or dean, to have your child removed from the classroom. If it is not then the parent and teacher need to find something to help the child to improve their grades.
Another problem that could be happening is that the child has a new teacher and they have a different style than the last teacher and the child doesn’t respond as well to the teaching method. This is neither the fault of the teacher or the student, but it is still something that needs to be addressed. It is important at that time to have a meeting with the teacher to find an acceptable method to help the child improve. This could be moving the child to another classroom or just into another part of his current classroom. Sometimes when you remove a child from a group of children then it will help them to be able to focus on the teacher instead of his friends around him.
The most important part of your children while they are in school is to have open communication with the teacher and administrative staff. If both sides know that if a problem arises that one or the other can be contacted then the problem won’t fester out of control and it can be handled in a quick and efficient manner. Children should not be placed in a position at school that makes it difficult for them to learn. It is up to the parents and teachers to work together to make the transition between home and school as seamless as possible. Both parties want the same thing, for the child to succeed and grow.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
The debate between moms working outside the home vs. staying at home
As a mom who has been a stay at home mom and a working mom, I think I can relate to this topic. When my children were little I was blessed with a husband who agreed that a mom should be there when before their children started school. After my children started school I was able to start my career and through the years have worked outside the home. My children are now teenagers and we mutually decided that the best course of action for our children was for me to be home.
Whether you fall into either category doesn't matter, what matters is how you handle the time you have with your children. If they are the focus of your life it won't matter if you work outside the home or not and the same goes if they aren't your focus. It is harder for a mother who works outside the home to try and struggle the different aspects of her life. Trying to balance your work life and home life is difficult whether you are a mother or not. I have found that when I was working my children were more disagreeable and had a harder time in school. But they have learned to be more self-sufficient than if I had been home with them. They can handle problems that arise without the stress that is normally associated with making difficult decisions.
We recently moved and one of the stipulations my husband and I decided on was that I would have to be able to stay home to take care of our children. We felt they were at an age when they needed supervision at home and not because they are bad children. But teenagers have a difficult time adjusting to their bodies and their minds. They can feel like they are being pulled in many different directions and not know which way to turn. We felt that it would be beneficial to our children for me to be home when they arrive from school. Since we have done this, my son and daughter have both become honor roll students. My son is getting involved in activities that he never had an interest in before and my daughter is returning to the fun loving, happy child that we used to have.
I don't know if these changes were affected because I wasn't around when they came home from school or if it is just normal changes children go through, but I will stay home with them until they graduate from high school. I believe that my presence at home is allowing my son to be a child again and not having to take care of his sister and I believe my daughter is happier with her role in the family. The best part is that if they have a problem in school, I am home to talk it over with as soon as they get here. They don't have to wait until I get home and let it simmer below the surface and eat away at them.
It is my opinion that children are normally better adjusted when the mom is home with them. If the mom feels she needs to work then I would suggest a part time job while their children are in school, but we home when they arrive or the method I have found is to find a job where you work from home. I know this is easier said than done, but the way my children behave now compared to the way they were behaving is such a dramatic shift that I would recommend all mothers stay home with their children. They are our future and if we don't take care of them the world will continue to escalate out of control. That doesn't mean women shouldn't work. I know for a long time I had a hard time if I wasn't working, I didn't know what to do with myself. There are other alternatives out there for women than working forty to sixty hour weeks, I would recommend that all mothers try and find one that works for them and their family. You just might find that you have your children back and didn't even realize they were gone.
Whether you fall into either category doesn't matter, what matters is how you handle the time you have with your children. If they are the focus of your life it won't matter if you work outside the home or not and the same goes if they aren't your focus. It is harder for a mother who works outside the home to try and struggle the different aspects of her life. Trying to balance your work life and home life is difficult whether you are a mother or not. I have found that when I was working my children were more disagreeable and had a harder time in school. But they have learned to be more self-sufficient than if I had been home with them. They can handle problems that arise without the stress that is normally associated with making difficult decisions.
We recently moved and one of the stipulations my husband and I decided on was that I would have to be able to stay home to take care of our children. We felt they were at an age when they needed supervision at home and not because they are bad children. But teenagers have a difficult time adjusting to their bodies and their minds. They can feel like they are being pulled in many different directions and not know which way to turn. We felt that it would be beneficial to our children for me to be home when they arrive from school. Since we have done this, my son and daughter have both become honor roll students. My son is getting involved in activities that he never had an interest in before and my daughter is returning to the fun loving, happy child that we used to have.
I don't know if these changes were affected because I wasn't around when they came home from school or if it is just normal changes children go through, but I will stay home with them until they graduate from high school. I believe that my presence at home is allowing my son to be a child again and not having to take care of his sister and I believe my daughter is happier with her role in the family. The best part is that if they have a problem in school, I am home to talk it over with as soon as they get here. They don't have to wait until I get home and let it simmer below the surface and eat away at them.
It is my opinion that children are normally better adjusted when the mom is home with them. If the mom feels she needs to work then I would suggest a part time job while their children are in school, but we home when they arrive or the method I have found is to find a job where you work from home. I know this is easier said than done, but the way my children behave now compared to the way they were behaving is such a dramatic shift that I would recommend all mothers stay home with their children. They are our future and if we don't take care of them the world will continue to escalate out of control. That doesn't mean women shouldn't work. I know for a long time I had a hard time if I wasn't working, I didn't know what to do with myself. There are other alternatives out there for women than working forty to sixty hour weeks, I would recommend that all mothers try and find one that works for them and their family. You just might find that you have your children back and didn't even realize they were gone.
Friday, March 2, 2007
Encouraging your Child's Talent for Drawing
You need to encourage your children in everything they do not just one specific topic. My son hated anything to do with art. He didn’t like to color or draw pictures. Now my daughter loves to draw. From the time she was little she could go through coloring books like they were water. It was her favorite thing to do. Here are a few things we did to encourage her drawing.
1. We made sure she always had a supply of coloring books with crayons, colored pencils and markers. We didn’t give them to her at one time because she would color them in one sitting so she would come to us when she finished one and would get a new one.
2. We supplied her with plenty of paper to draw her own art. When she would take magazine and try and copy the pictures we started getting her books on how to draw. We started her with simple one, basic line drawing, so that she didn’t get discouraged.
3. As she improved we got her harder books to learn how to draw more complicated items, she is currently into drawing fairies, dragons (really good at these) and animals of all sorts.
4. We displayed her art, and I don’t just mean taping it to the wall or putting it on the refrigerator with a magnet, but these are good ideas. When she was visiting her grandparents, we painted her room and decorated it, but we also pulled out her portfolio (she put it together on her own) and took two pictures of horses she had drawn. We framed them with matting and hung them on her wall. With everything we changed in her room that was the first thing she noticed. We had displayed her art and it excited her.
The best thing you can do with your children is encourage them in what they enjoy doing. They don’t have to be any good at it as long as they get pleasure out of doing it. It doesn’t have to be something they can do for a career; just let them enjoy doing it. Children use drawing as a way to express their feelings and if we stifle those feelings the children could have issues later in life.
http://www.helium.com/tm/190645/encourage-children-everything-specific
1. We made sure she always had a supply of coloring books with crayons, colored pencils and markers. We didn’t give them to her at one time because she would color them in one sitting so she would come to us when she finished one and would get a new one.
2. We supplied her with plenty of paper to draw her own art. When she would take magazine and try and copy the pictures we started getting her books on how to draw. We started her with simple one, basic line drawing, so that she didn’t get discouraged.
3. As she improved we got her harder books to learn how to draw more complicated items, she is currently into drawing fairies, dragons (really good at these) and animals of all sorts.
4. We displayed her art, and I don’t just mean taping it to the wall or putting it on the refrigerator with a magnet, but these are good ideas. When she was visiting her grandparents, we painted her room and decorated it, but we also pulled out her portfolio (she put it together on her own) and took two pictures of horses she had drawn. We framed them with matting and hung them on her wall. With everything we changed in her room that was the first thing she noticed. We had displayed her art and it excited her.
The best thing you can do with your children is encourage them in what they enjoy doing. They don’t have to be any good at it as long as they get pleasure out of doing it. It doesn’t have to be something they can do for a career; just let them enjoy doing it. Children use drawing as a way to express their feelings and if we stifle those feelings the children could have issues later in life.
http://www.helium.com/tm/190645/encourage-children-everything-specific
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