The debate between moms working outside the home vs. staying at home

As a mom who has been a stay at home mom and a working mom, I think I can relate to this topic. When my children were little I was blessed with a husband who agreed that a mom should be there when before their children started school. After my children started school I was able to start my career and through the years have worked outside the home. My children are now teenagers and we mutually decided that the best course of action for our children was for me to be home.

Whether you fall into either category doesn't matter, what matters is how you handle the time you have with your children. If they are the focus of your life it won't matter if you work outside the home or not and the same goes if they aren't your focus. It is harder for a mother who works outside the home to try and struggle the different aspects of her life. Trying to balance your work life and home life is difficult whether you are a mother or not. I have found that when I was working my children were more disagreeable and had a harder time in school. But they have learned to be more self-sufficient than if I had been home with them. They can handle problems that arise without the stress that is normally associated with making difficult decisions.

We recently moved and one of the stipulations my husband and I decided on was that I would have to be able to stay home to take care of our children. We felt they were at an age when they needed supervision at home and not because they are bad children. But teenagers have a difficult time adjusting to their bodies and their minds. They can feel like they are being pulled in many different directions and not know which way to turn. We felt that it would be beneficial to our children for me to be home when they arrive from school. Since we have done this, my son and daughter have both become honor roll students. My son is getting involved in activities that he never had an interest in before and my daughter is returning to the fun loving, happy child that we used to have.

I don't know if these changes were affected because I wasn't around when they came home from school or if it is just normal changes children go through, but I will stay home with them until they graduate from high school. I believe that my presence at home is allowing my son to be a child again and not having to take care of his sister and I believe my daughter is happier with her role in the family. The best part is that if they have a problem in school, I am home to talk it over with as soon as they get here. They don't have to wait until I get home and let it simmer below the surface and eat away at them.

It is my opinion that children are normally better adjusted when the mom is home with them. If the mom feels she needs to work then I would suggest a part time job while their children are in school, but we home when they arrive or the method I have found is to find a job where you work from home. I know this is easier said than done, but the way my children behave now compared to the way they were behaving is such a dramatic shift that I would recommend all mothers stay home with their children. They are our future and if we don't take care of them the world will continue to escalate out of control. That doesn't mean women shouldn't work. I know for a long time I had a hard time if I wasn't working, I didn't know what to do with myself. There are other alternatives out there for women than working forty to sixty hour weeks, I would recommend that all mothers try and find one that works for them and their family. You just might find that you have your children back and didn't even realize they were gone.