School Days

Well School is starting back up and for many people this is a stressful time of the year. Your children need new supplies and clothes and as a parent you want to do the best you can to help them to fit in and not look like a misfit, but you also don't want to break the bank. Here are some ideas to help you get through the school shopping days.

GARAGE/YARD SALES
I know these have a major stigma attached to them, but if you are select in what you purchase then it won't be obvious that you bought stuff from a yard sale. Normally blue jeans don't change much from year to year so if you buy your blue jeans from a yard sale you can save anywhere from $20 to $30 a pair of pants. Make sure they are in good shape without rips or tears. You will also want to check for parts that are wearing thin. If you child wants the extra decorations that are on quite a few of the jeans today, then go to your local craft store and buy a set and you can attach them to the jeans. You daughter will have a nice pair of jeans and they will be unique and she will be able to show off her own style.

CLEARANCE RACKS
You can find some wonderful deals on clearance racks, but be warned it is difficult especially for girls to wear last years fashions. Look over this years fashion and normally you can find some items that are similar to last years and add accessories to bring them up to the current style. The accessories is normally the key to creating unique and stylish outfits that your girls will love. Boys are much easier and are normally happy with t-shirts that you can pick up on any clearance rack, but take them with you because they can be picky on what type of t-shirt it is.

SECOND HAND STORES
This can be a lot of fun, because you can normally find clothes from different eras that you girls especially will love to try out. This is when they will be more likely to try something different and maybe work on creating their own style. Have fun with them and don't discourage their creativity unless it starts looking indecent. But most of all have fun.

A FEW EXTRA TIPS
Some cheaper ideas that will help the school year start out right. A nice haircut will go a long ways to helping your child's self esteem stay high and help to prepare them for the new school year. Sometimes buying new accessories will make outfits from last year seem completely new. And finally a new pair of shoes can go a long way to helping the school year start out right, and payless normally has the buy one get one half off sale going on this time of year.

You can help your child have new clothes and a good school year with these few simple tricks and not have to feel like you need to take out a loan to have them start school.

Becoming a Better Parent

Before you become a parent you believe you are going to handle situations different than everyone else. Your child isn’t going to throw a temper tantrum in a store or your child is going to be better behaved in public. There are many different scenarios that you believe you will handle differently than the people you see around you. Parenting is just like any other job, it is a skill you have to learn with great patience involved. It isn’t something you just know how to do, you have to work at it and find the way that works for both you and your child. Listed below are a few concepts that might help you become a better parent, but remember just because something works with one child doesn’t mean it will work with all children.

TIME
Spending time with your children is essential to their growth and well-being. The more constructive time you spend with them the better they will be able to understand their boundaries and what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t allowed. By creating boundaries for children they are generally happier and better adjusted to their environment. They will be less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol because they know the results of these items in their lives. The time you devote to your children will be rewarded by children who are more comfortable with themselves and don’t feel they need to act out to get attention.

TELEVISION
Television isn’t a babysitter for children. Putting on the popular television shows for children isn’t the way to teach them how to read, talk to behave, unless you want a child who has a hard time reading, enjoys backtalking and misbehaves because they think it is funny. Many programs today are geared toward a child’s entertainment not necessarily the way you want them to behave.

We monitor the television shows our children watch and are thankful we do. Our children were watching a show as we walked through the room, the show stated that it was okay to lie as long as it was a small one. We immediately had the children turn the show off and banned the show from our house. The children have learned when there is a banned show that there is a reason behind it and besides asking for the reason of the banning, will generally follow our rules. Our daughter has even gone on to leave a house that was watching a show that she was banned from watching. We, as parents, have to be mindful of what our children have access to, whether it is television or the Internet. Most parents will monitor what their children does on the Internet, but don’t think twice about letting them watch anything on television. Some of the programs out there today aren’t appropriate for adults let alone children.
BOOKS
Banning books can be a dangerous subject, but it is our job as parents to monitor what media our children are exposed to which includes books. We have banned certain books from being read by our children and explained to them the reasons why. There are some things we don’t want them exposed to which include witchcraft and spells, because of this we have stopped them from reading certain books and they are in agreement with our choices. Not everyone will choose to ban certain books, but you need to watch what your children read because it could be too graphic for them whether in violence or in sexual exploits.

MUSIC
My son had a hard time when we informed him of certain musicians we wouldn’t allow him to listen to. We sat him down and reviewed the lyrics with him and explained the problem we had with some of them. Once he understood that some of the lyrics were inappropriate, i.e. suicidal, degrading, sexually explicit and too violent, he was able to agree with our choices. He is now at a point where he will come to us and ask us to review a band or singer to find out if they are appropriate to listen to, and has even rule out some bands because he didn’t agree with their lyrics.

As with anything with children, explaining why you are doing something is much easier than just saying absolutely not. If they understand why you are doing something they will be more inclined to agree and not go do it behind your back. By spending time with them, you get to know them as a person and know what they are capable of doing and you also get to know their friends, which will help you understand the outside influences in their lives. When we have children we are taking on the responsibility for life not just until they turn 18. They will move us to great acts of frustration and anger, but also greater feelings of love and happiness. Enjoy each moment you have with them because you will only have that moment once.

How to get your picky child to eat

My son was the pickiest eater I had ever run across. He would only eat bread, cereal, chicken nuggets and other bland foods that were similar. He refused to eat vegetables and fruits. At first we thought it was a phase he was going through and he would grow out of it, instead it steadily got worse. He wouldn’t try new foods and wanted certain foods every day.

Finally we had enough and refused to offer him his favorite foods. He was offered the same foods that we had for dinner. If he didn’t eat then it was on him because the food was offered. Now, I am not saying this was an easy decision to make, but it was one that had to be made for his health. If we had continued to allow him to eat only certain foods then he wouldn’t receive the vitamins and minerals he needed to grow into a healthy adult.

It took about 2 months to get him to a point where he would sit down and eat the same foods we ate. He would fight us over eating his vegetables and try to eat as small of a helping as possible, but every time the fight got less until the time when we could sit down to dinner together and enjoy our meal. There wasn’t the fighting to get him to eat, or his arguing that he didn’t want to eat. If you have children, you first concern has to be for their health not for how good of a friend you will be to them. Even if they don’t want to do something you still have to force them to do some things and eventually it will get to a point where they will make the choices that will benefit not only their health but their lives.

Help Your Child Ace Multiplication Homework

My daughter hated math. If she could find a way to get out of working on it she would. Once we talked to her and figured out the problem was that she couldn’t understand multiplication tables, she felt better. So then we had to figure out what we needed to do to help her overcome the difficulties of multiplication and how to help her understand it.

We created her a multiplication table for her to work on and study and then we would quiz her anytime during the day. She never knew when she would get asked, just that is she got it write she got a gold star. Now you may wonder what good a gold star is for someone learning multiplication, but every time she got 20 stars she was able to have something she wanted. It could be she got to choose dinner or everyone had to play a game with her, something like that.

After 2 weeks of solid studying and testing she was able to go to school and aced the test that she got. Even today you can ask her a multiplication problem and she can figure it out in seconds. Repetition is key to helping children learn certain things, like how to pronounce letters and letter combinations. This is just another example of teaching by repetition and it is something that she will keep forever.

Appropriate chores for a toddler

The rules we were taught growing up was that if you were old enough to play with toys, you were old enough to clean up after yourself. There were eight children in my family and if mom hadn’t taught us how to clean up after ourselves then she would have had a mess to clean up on a daily basis.

The first thing we learned how to clean up was our toys. We all had toy boxes and we were taught from a very young age that when you finished with one toy you put it away before you got another one. By doing this it eliminated the large mess that could have accumulated and made it easier and not so overwhelming for the kids to clean up after themselves.

The next set of chores we learned how to do was dishes. By the time I was 4 or 5 I was helping with dishes. Mind you this was before there were dishwashers in every house. That doesn’t mean that I had to wash all of the dishes, but we did help. The little ones had to clear the table and put away the silverware when it was washed.

There is always something that toddlers can do to help out. Not only does it make them feel could to help around the house, but it teaches them correct behavior when they get older. I don’t ever want my children to move into their own house and not know how to take care of themselves. We have taught our children to cook, clean, do laundry and balance a check book. It is important to help your children and teaching them chores is just another aspect of teaching them about life.

Games that teach kids how to play well with others

Most games teach kids to play well with others. It is a matter of teaching them to take turns and share their toys. The most important thing is to have the kids interact with other children through play groups and other methods, but it is imperative that your child is around other children.

Most sports will help a child learn to play well with others. Through baseball, football, soccer, and all the other sports I haven’t named, it teaches children to learn not only how to win but how to lose and how to lose gracefully. They learn to work together as a team and by doing this they realize that they can’t play the game by themselves. That would be like throwing a baseball to your imaginary friend and expecting the ball to be caught and thrown back at you. This will help children realize that there are times when you have to work with other people and it can be fun.

Quite a few board games are now becoming interactive with a computer which makes it so they don’t have to play with someone else and I think this is the worst thing that could happen. Too many times our children play their games by themselves and aren’t getting out to socialize with other children. They are staying in their houses playing video games instead of having some friends over and playing a few board games. Board games are a great way to teach children to take turns. They will learn that life isn’t always about them and they have to let someone else go or they never get a turn.

Children are naturally social creatures because everyone is and by providing time and an opportunity for them to play with others it teaches them the correct way to behave around people. They will have a good time while at the same time learn how to share, take turns and have fun.

Rain, rain, go away: Best indoor games for kids

There are so many things kids can do inside when it is raining but I will only touch on a couple of them. Otherwise, we could be here for hours talking about the different games kids can play. When I worked at a day care and it would rain, which was infrequent since we lived in Las Vegas, we always did something special for the kids to do so that they weren’t bored with their normal toys. It was a way to keep them entertained and still have fun.

BOARD GAMES. The standard toy for kids to play with, while inside, is board games. They have different games for all ages now. They have board games for kids starting as young as 2 years old. You can let each child choose a game and you play all of them that are chosen.

WATER GAMES. You can set up small containers that you store toys in for the kids to play with. Add some water and some small toys and they will play for hours with them. You can also use sand instead of the water and put some buried treasure into the sand for them to find. If you are going to do either one of these put towels under the chairs and table and under the container so you have an easier cleanup process.

ART PROJECT. When it is raining, it’s a great time to bring out the water color paints for the kids to create elaborate pictures for display. The great thing about this is they get to use their imagination and you can have them create the art for a show and display the picture like in an art exhibit. They will have a ball with this.

MISCELLANEOUS GAMES. When kids can’t go outside and play they normally have a lot of energy they need to get out. This is when you can set up tunnels for them to crawl through so that they can get out the energy. You can also have races for the kids, but not by running. You set up to spot for them to race from and to and you have them do the races in different positions like a crab walk or wiggling on their stomach. The list is endless for the different types of races you could do.

Have fun with your kids, if you take the time to pay attention to them, it will be the best day of your life. You will have fun together and find out your children have an awesome sense of humor and enjoy spending time with you. So turn the rainy day into a fun day, and your kids might ask for the fun more often instead of just when it is raining.

How to build an indoor fort with kids

The first thing you have to determine is if you are going camping, taking a fishing trip or hiding from aliens from outer space, because they all require different indoor forts. Have fun with your children, let them use their imagination and it will soar.

If you are going on a camping trip, have them get their sleeping bag and anything else they want to take on the camping trip. I always kept old blankets just to make forts out of, the kids enjoy it and it is fun to watch them play. Take four kitchen chairs and drape the blankets over them to create an area that is completely enclosed. You can secure the blankets underneath the legs of the chairs to make sure they don’t move. Then step back and invite the children to play. You might have to rebuild it a couple of times as they will get rambunctious but they will have fun.

When it comes to fishing trips the possibilities are endless. When my son was small, he always wanted to camp out and go fishing. We would create a bed in the family room and he would go fishing off the end of the bed. You couldn’t step on the floor because the floor was water and you would get wet and scare away all the fish. If you want to create an indoor fort for fishing then take the blankets and create a tent over the couch and that is the shore and then they can fish into the carpet with is the river or lake.

Now hiding from an alien from outer space or being an alien from outer space is fun. The best way to make a fort for this is to use an old box, the larger the better, and make it into a space ship. Let you child help you decorate it. You can use different colors of paint and colored jewels to decorate it into a first class ship. The kids will play with this for days and have a ball racing through space.

There are many different types of forts you can make, but the most important part is to let the children have fun creating what type of fort they want. Not only will the children enjoy making the different forts but so will the adults watching them use their minds to create different worlds.

How to get your toddler to brush his teeth

When my daughter was little and even now she doesn’t like the taste of toothpaste. Getting her to brush her teeth was difficult and if we weren’t careful would end up with frustration on both sides and then we would have to calm her down before she went to bed. So instead of fighting with her we talked to her dentist about what we could do to get her to brush her teeth.

His recommendation was to let her brush her teeth without toothpaste. She is still working on getting the plaque off of her teeth but doesn’t have to handle the taste of the toothpaste. So we tried this and she would brush her teeth with only water. As the years went by, companies started making new toothpastes with different flavors so we would try out different ones and we ended up finding an orange flavored one that she will use.

Not using toothpaste didn’t bother my daughter’s teeth. She is almost 14 and hasn’t had a single cavity and has straight teeth and doesn’t need braces. So for the parents who have children that don’t like the taste of toothpaste, try using just water and see if it will help them to brush more often. You will be surprised about the results.

Also you might want to try the different flavors that are available now. We found with my daughter she didn’t like the taste of mint and that is why she didn’t like most toothpastes. My son prefers to use cinnamon flavored toothpaste. If you can make brushing their teeth enjoyable then you will not have to worry about them brushing their teeth because they will enjoy it and continue on their own.

How to live without cable or satellite and still get your TV fix

Is paying $30 to over $100 dollars a month worth it? Not only does it waste you time, but it takes away from the quality time you can spend with you family. Before we moved, we had satellite tv, we had movie channels, all of the specialty channels, sports channels and even HD channels. We decided when we moved that we didn't want to have it back. We didn't want to through away $1,200 a year in television shows. The amazing part is the change that came over our children. They are pleasant to be with, we can actually talk to them again with out the attitude of I'm watching a show, what do you want. My children were scheduling their life around television. If a show was coming on that they wanted to see, they felt they couldn't do anything because they might miss it. Now my son is actually reading, something he has never liked to do. My daughter has started drawing again and is really good at it. The strengths that are showing up in my children more than makes up for not having scifi or the movie channels.

Now I am not saying that we don't have television, because we do. We have a couple of shows that we watch each week, but the television isn't on all of the time. At first we weren't able to get any channels in even with an antenna, but we hooked up our HD Receiver and we get quite a few channels now, even a channel that shows music videos. The best part for all of this is that it is free!

My husband realized a few weeks ago that the television had been taking over his life. If he was watching a television show then he would ignore the children or even tell them to be quiet because he was watching something. Now he actually enjoys spending time with them again and have started to do things together as a family.

I am not saying that getting rid of cable or satellite tv will improve your home life, but it won't hurt it either. If you really need to watch certain television shows then there are ways to do that now. Quite a few of the network stations offer there last week of episodes online for you to watch, after the show has aired. What is great about this is that if you have to answer the phone or the door, or something comes up, you can always go back to it and not miss anything. Another thing you can do is wait for the episodes to come out on DVD. We had started watching 24 this year for the first time because my son liked it and are now hooked. But because we had missed the first 5 seasons we went out and bought them and can watch them at our leisure. And another thing that 24 did was offer the first 4 episodes on DVD already. Another way that you can get your tv fix without cable or satellite tv is you can download episodes for different television shows online for a fee, normally it is around $1.99. This way you don't have to wait for the whole season to come out on DVD but can download it as it becomes available.

So you can still get your television fix in a multiple of ways, but I still think the best benefit of not having cable and satellite television is that you aren't wasting your time in front of the television, you can actually spend time together.

Testimonial: Postpartum depression from an individual perspective

When our son was born, it was the most glorious experience in my life. This little baby boy was adorable; he smiled quite a bit and would cuddle in your arms. It was an amazing feeling to just look at him while he slept, then it got so he would sleep and so would I. I figured this was normal; he is up during the night which means I was, so I figured I was supposed to sleep when he did.

It took me eighteen months to figure out what was going on and put a stop to it. I didn’t want to do anything. Not clean house, take a shower or even eat. I got quieter and quieter and it got so bad that there were days I wouldn’t even leave the house. My husband worked nights and after my son went to bed, I was up until about 5 a.m. every night. I would then go to sleep for about 2 hours and stay up until 5 a.m. the next morning. I knew I looked bad, but I really didn’t care. Nothing seemed to matter and I cried all the time.

I finally realized what was going on when a friend came over and started talking to me. She pointed out what she saw and wondered if there was anything she could do to help. By this time, my son and I would go out at night for about 30 minutes but that is the only time I left the house except to go grocery shopping if I couldn’t convince my husband to do it. Once I sat down and started looking at my life, I started to get worried that there was something wrong with me. But I was reading a magazine and saw an article about postpartum depression and realized I had most of the symptoms. I talked it over with my husband and we went to the doctor. He confirmed that I had it and we started on a method to get me through it.

I am very happy to note when I had my daughter when my son was three, I didn’t deal with the depression part of it. I am eternally grateful for that because it is something that no one should ever have to go through. It can completely destroy you if you let it.

Great Spring Activities for your Children

There are many activities that you can do with your children and quite a few of them are geared toward springtime. This is the time of year when you get outside with your children and have fun. It isn’t too hot to spend time outside or so cold that you have to limit your time outside.

Bird Watching. You can use to activity to teach your child about the different birds in your neighborhood or surrounding area. This becomes more difficult to use when you live in a climate where there isn’t a lot of birds, like a desert area or in a city. But you can always go out to a rural area to engage in this activity. You can buy them their own pair of binoculars and let them help you choose bird feeders, so you can research together what type of birds you would like to attract. It would also be helpful to get a book from the library or book store that has pictures about the different birds in your area.

Gardening. You and your children can plan a garden and start planting it. You can choose the area you would like to turn into a garden and after you have figured out the area, then you can determine how many different types of plants you can grow. They can be involved in the entire process and can help you buy the seeds or plants. You will all have a fun time planting the seeds and plants in your new garden and it can be an ongoing project as they can help weed it and water it on a daily basis. The joy they will have when they are able to eat their first vegetable that they grew will not be surpassed.

Bicycling or Walking. This will help your child to stay in shape while being outside and spending time together as a family. If the family walks or rides bikes on nightly basis or even every other day it will be time that the family will enjoy. It will help the children to put an exercise program in place that they will have fun with and it will help them to keep on exercising after they become adults.

There are many other activities that you can do with your child during the spring from visiting the zoo to going to museums or nature centers. Spring time is normally a time when family go outside to enjoy their evenings together. It is a time they enjoy the warmth in the air and watch the new birds being born, the flowers blossoming and the trees blooming. It is the time when we can teach our children to enjoy not only time outside but time together as a family.

Teens and Decorating

My daughter loves to change the decorations in her room and would change them every week if we let her. When she started getting the idea to change her room we imposed a rule that she had to like the theme, style and colors for six months before we would allow her to change her room. So she pored over magazines and every time we went to the hardware store she made sure to grab more paint samples. It took her about two months to decide what she wanted her room to look like, but then she was able to stay with that style for six months.

She went to her grandparents for a few weeks and we decided that while she was gone we were going to paint her room for her. So we removed the old wallpaper she had, and painted the room. Then we took some of her artwork and framed it and put it on the wall. The next thing we did was make pillows to match her room. When she came home and saw her room, she was amazed at how well it looked. She loved it.

Now that we have moved she is trying to decide what type of style to decorate her new room in and is looking at creating a jungle on the walls and take her artwork and display the ones that are of different animals. If she can last six months with the design we will help her put it in.

Teenagers have a unique style that is probably nothing like the parents’ style, but that doesn’t’ mean it is bad. You need to give them a chance to find their niche in the world and they will start with their room. As long as it isn’t too bad, let them decorate it the way they like and encourage their creativity.

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How to raise assertive kids who can be humble too

As a parent it is part of your job to teach your children to take care of themselves. One of the aspects of doing this is to teach children to be assertive because you do not want people to use them as a doormat. You also have to be mindful that you don’t want your children to walk all over other people so you have to make sure that they need to be assertive while still remaining humble.

There are certain things you need to do when you are working on teaching your children to be assertive. You need to teach them that while arguing with parents is not acceptable having open discussion is allowed. They need to know the rules in the house are important but if they come up with a change to the rules and approach the parents in a respectable manner then you will talk to them and figure out if their new method would work.

If you work with your children and show them that if you approach people in a respectable manner they will be more likely to listen to you. They need to learn that being rude to people is not the same as being assertive. To be assertive is not being shy about expressing your opinion and it is important to teach children this, which can be handled by example and talking to them. It is also important that no matter how important you think your opinion is, you should never make someone else feel inferior because they believe something different than you.

Children learn by example. That is how they have learned to read and talk and many other things. That is also how they learn to be assertive. When you teach your child to be assertive you are helping them to succeed in life, but you need to make sure you temper their assertiveness with a good dose of humility. They need to learn that their opinion is not the only one in the world and having other people voice their opinion will help to create new and sometimes better ideas.

Parenting teens: Knowing how to choose your battles

As with anything in life it is important to pick the battles that will make a difference. If you are constantly bickering with your teenager then you won’t accomplish anything except alienate him or her. Your goal as a parent is to pick the battles that are important. If it is important to you that your child do well in school then that is a battle you can pick, but is it smart to fight over your child getting a B instead of an A. Those are the types of questions you need to ask yourself.

Your children will go through many changes in their teenage years. You will wonder if they have been invaded by the pod people, but sit back and see how they are handling things before you jump into the fray. If you don’t like one of their friends they look at their other friends and see if they are a good influence on your teenager. If they have one friend that is a bad influence, decide if it is worth it to start a fight over, because remember that you could push your teenager right into the friendship. But if you monitor the situation then if you see your child pulling away from the “good” kids then you might have cause for concern. Remember though that you don’t see the actual behavior of the child when they aren’t around you. The child who you thought was a good influence could be the one that is doing drugs and drinking while the one that you think is bad is struggling to improve himself to succeed in the real world. If you forbid a child to do something, they are more likely to try it than if you talk to them about your reasons.

The most important thing is that you need to choose the battles that matter. While it is important to handle the situation when your child gets surly it is more important to deal with your child experimenting with drugs and alcohol. If you are grounding your child on a consistent basis then it will lose its effectiveness, so will have to work on coming up with new ways to punish or restrict your child on a continual basis. Instead you want to focus on teaching your child the correct way to handle a situation that way you don’t have to worry about battles as much because they know the correct way to act and knows that there will be repercussions for their actions.

Children are trying to find their place in the world. They don’t feel comfortable in their skin and just want to fit in. During their teenage years is when they are trying to find the sweet spot that will help them to find their place. They are trying to discover what they are supposed to be when they grow up and most don’t have a clue. They are dealing with hormones that are completely out of synch and one moment they are smiling and the next crying. If you get upset every time they do then you will be on the rollercoaster ride with them and they need you to be the rock that keeps them grounded. They will push you and try to get their way, but they know that it won’t always happen, but you need to decide which issues are the important ones and which ones you will let them have control over.

Asking older children to babysit for siblings: Guidelines

When people decide to have children they need to look at more aspects than just the joy of parenthood. There are many issues long term that need to be decided upon, long before you become pregnant for the child. One of these is child care. Most parents will research different day care facilities and try to find one that fits within their budget. They will look for the most qualified teachers and caregivers to look after their children, but once their children start school they believe they will have it easier. Parents won’t have to pay as much because the child only needs before and after school care, but then one of your children reach an age where they can legally watch their siblings. At this point, most parents are looking at the financial aspect of being able to save on childcare, but there are a few other points parents need to review before they decide to ask their older child to babysit their siblings.

Homework. One of the aspects that parents will enjoy is that their children will be able to work on their homework before the parents get home. But parents need to be careful that they set the rules for the older sibling. If the parents want the older sibling to be responsible for the younger ones doing their homework then you need to be prepared for a battle. There is natural sibling rivalry between family and when you put one child in charge of another and give them authority it is going to get heated and you could end up with a child getting hurt or one of the children could become withdrawn and quiet. It is best to have the children do their homework but the older child is not responsible for making sure it gets done, so that you are able to remove a bone of contention from the situation before it becomes a problem.

Food. This was always a large problem in our family. The older child believed it was his responsibility to make sure that his siblings didn’t have too much food. You need to make sure you inform all of the children the rules for snacks until you get home. It helps to make one shelf of the refrigerator the only shelf they are allowed to get food from and this works for the pantry also. This way you can put food on that shelf and even label it if you like and then the children know the guidelines they have to follow on a daily basis.

Television. The only way we found for this to work was that each child had a scheduled time to use the television. They could play a game on it or watch a television show, but they could only use it during their designated time. Even if they decided not to use it at that time, the other children weren’t allowed to take over the television. By doing this we were able to cut down on the number of fights over the television and in the process separate the children so there was limited exposure.

Computer. This worked the same way as the television. They weren’t allowed to exchange their time with their siblings, but had to stick to their original scheduled time. If they were in the middle of a game and wouldn’t finish for another 30 minutes they still had to stop whatever they were doing to turn the computer over to their sibling. By setting up the schedule the children learned to keep an eye on the clock to make sure they were at a save point in the game they were playing.

When you leave your children home alone, you need to make sure that you have put guidelines in place to help them as much as possible. Even though you can’t afford to stay home with your children you need to let them keep their childhood. By setting up the guidelines it helps them to stay within their boundaries and not be overwhelmed with responsibility. You don’t want your children to grow up before their time, let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible.

The drama of young girls and why it's important to listen

When it comes to girls, I believe drama is completely entwined into their DNA. They can take a simple tale of walking to their next class and embellish it to become an elaborate journey into the heart of the unknown. If they dropped a book in the hallway, they will talk to you about the injustice being done to children, the inhumanity of having them carry so much weight. Children and girls especially have a knack of taking a simple story and making it into a novel.

As a parent you need to be able to listen to your children and understand what they are talking about. You need to hear everything they have to say because one of the things they tell you might be something of extreme importance. But even then it is all important because it is important to her. You need to make her feel special; that you are interested in her life and want to know how her day went. By listening to her tell you about her day you find out little tidbit that she hides within the drama of her stories.

Girls will take the story of going into the classroom and tell you about it because something happened that she wants you to know about. She doesn’t feel comfortable about coming right out and saying what it is but she still wants you to know. It is your job as a parent to decipher these stories to be able to understand what it is she is saying. Because within her story, she could be telling you that a boy asked her on a date or she is having a hard time in the class.

Parents need to learn to decipher all of their children’s conversations not just girls, but with girls it is normally embedded within another story. This is how girls tell their parents about the things that happen in their life. It is how parents can find out if there is a problem that they need to resolve or if it is a cry for help. It can also be a way to show the parents how happy they are and how much they enjoy life. It is also important to remember that it can also be a way to play with their imagination. They know they can open up their minds and let their imaginations have free rein in their story telling. It frees them from the daily tensions in life. But the parents need to listen to their children to understand which areas are pure story and which are the true parts of life.

Strategies for coping with and helping loud children

Just because children are loud does not mean that they are bad children. There could be several factors that could contribute to your child being overly loud. If you have a child who speaks loudly then you need to determine what is the reason they are being this way.

You need to eliminate problems that could be the cause of your child being loud. If it is a medical condition, where they have a problem with their hearing then you need to get them to a doctor to find out if it is reversible. If it is not reversible then you need to find out if you can have them fitted for a hearing aid. When your child has a hearing problem, it can affect all aspects of their life. It can affect their learning process and can cause them to have disciplinary problem. If you are able to find out early on if this is the problem then by having knowledge of the situation you can introduce methods into your household to help strop any disciplinary problems. If the child can’t hear you tell them not to do something then they will continue doing it. This also applies at school, if they can’t hear the teacher, then how are they going to learn the subject matter.

If you determine that they don’t have a hearing problem, then you need to find out something else that could be causing them to be overly loud. This could be that they feel like they are being ignored in your family. Children will increase the volume of their voice if they don’t feel they are getting the attention they deserve. The louder they get the more they are crying out for help. If this is the case, you need to make sure the child get the same amount of attention as his other siblings. If he isn’t being ignored and just wants attention then you need to deal with the situation in a way that he won’t feel like you are picking on him.

Another reason that your child could be overly loud is because that is the way their voice is. If they have a naturally loud voice, you don’t want to discourage them from talking because it will make them feel inferior. What you need to do is teach them the correct way to talk inside and outside. They just might like hearing the sound of their voice when it is loud. If you work with them and explain why being loud could have a negative impact they will be more likely to listen to you than if you just yell at them.

All children are different and you need to work with them on an individual basis. Every child has a reason for doing something and it could just be that they like the sound of their voice when it is loud. Once you are able to work out the reasons for having a loud child, you will be able to work on a strategy that is beneficial for both you and your child.

Determining allowance for teens

When you are determining what children should be paid for chores or if they should be paid, you need to decide if they will get paid on an individual chore basis or on the chores as a whole. Many parents believe that it is the child’s responsibility to do chores on a weekly basis. It is the parents’ way of teaching them responsibility. Like if they wanted a pet, it would be up to them to handle the upkeep of the pet, whether it would include feeding, bathing, or cleaning up after them. Also some parents believe that the child lives in the house and they need to contribute to the household and since they do not have an income coming in then they can do this through chores.

Some parents believe that it is beneficial to pay their children for chores. If the child has a list of chores and they do all of their chores each week then they get a set amount. One way to handle if the child doesn’t do the assigned chores, you can take away part of the allowance for each chore not done. If they are supposed to earn ten cents for making their bed on a daily basis and they didn’t do it on Wednesday, then they owe you five cents. This can be a very effective way to make sure your child does their chores.

Another way that the chores and allowance can be structured is that the child has a list of chores and if they do all of their chores but one then they don’t get their allowance. This will keep the child from only doing the chores they don’t mind and skipping the ones they don’t like. This can be a good tool to teach them that there will always be tasks that you don’t like but still have to do. With this method it is easier to make sure your children do their chores because they want to get their allowance.

Children benefit from having chores on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. It teaches them to be responsible for the household not only for themselves but for everyone. If you work on teaching your children responsibility at a young age they are more likely to continue doing their chores as they get older. It is always up to the parents to decide if they child will get paid for their chores. At no point in time is it a requirement for them doing chores. Without chores in their lives, children do not learn the general duties for taking care of a household. They need to learn how to keep a clean house, wash clothes and take care of the pets. By teaching your children these things you are helping them grow into responsible adults.

Treating your kids fairly even if they behave differently

When raising children it is important to remember that no two children are alike. Your children might have similarities but they can also be complete opposites. For each child the punishment they receive has to be structured to how it will help them grow and learn. This also applies to rewards as giving one child a verbal congratulations the other child could be upset that you didn’t give him a hug instead. Even if methods worked for one child you can never be sure that they will work for another child even if they are twins.

If you have to punish your children you need to take into account a few different aspects of each child. You need to determine which type of punishment works best. If one of your children hates to read, taking reading away from him won’t be affective, but if your other child does. It could be the worst punishment you could ever mete out. One child might not like to eat, so if you punish them by having them go to bed without supper then they are happy and you aren’t punishing them. That is why you have to understand your children before you start deciding what punishment works best for each individual child.

The reward system for children should be handled in the same way. If you have a child that doesn’t like to be touched then giving them a hug when they do something well will seem like a punishment to them. On the other hand if you have a child that is very demonstrative and you tell her good job without a hug then she feels like she did something wrong. You always need to be mindful of your child and their personality in not only punishments but in rewards also.

All children are different; they think differently and react to situations differently. It is up to you as the parent to find out what type of behavior is most appropriate for your child. The best way to do this is to get to know them, which means spending time with them in a consistent manner. Not only will it help you to understand your children, but the enjoyment you will receive from the contact will be with you for the rest of your life.

Great gift ideas for teenage girls

Most teenage girls are easy to buy for. If they don’t let you know what they want, which they are very vocal with then there is normally a couple of ideas you can use that are full proof. They want to start feeling like they are an adult, so you have to think along those lines when you are shopping for them. Here are a couple of ideas that you can use when you have run out of ideas to get her something.

Collectibles. Almost all teenagers like to collect things, whether it is horses, fairies, animals, frogs, anything. They love to collect things and they place them all over their room. You can either find out what they collect and buy them something for their collection or even expand their collection into something new. If they collect statues then you can get them a blanket or picture with what they collect on it. I would steer away from clothing as teenage girls are very picky about what they will wear.

Jewelry. I do not know a teenage girl that doesn’t like jewelry. It doesn’t matter if it is gaudy or elegant, she will love it. Something to keep in mind though is if she doesn’t have her ears pierced, don’t buy her earrings. But they love bracelets, necklaces, rings and if you get them in sets, they like that too.

Nail Polish. If you don’t know if the parents allow her to wear makeup then don’t go into the facial makeup, but most parents allow nail polish. Teenage girls really like the outlandish colors, from blue and green to colors that sparkle. You can also get her a kit that she can use to do her own manicures, with the brushes, scissors and polishes.

Day Spa. If you want to get a little more extravagant, plan a trip to a day spa for her, let her get her hair done, maybe a facial, manicure and pedicure. She will love it and remember the day for a long time. We used to plan a day at the spa every couple of months to have mother daughter time. It is well worth the extra money to have that bonding time.

These are just a couple of ideas that you can use. Teenage girls are fairly easy to buy for, they like things that sparkle and like to collect things. One of the best gifts for my daughter is a gift certificate to the book store. She loves to read and has many favorite authors. If you find out a little bit about the teenager before you go shopping, it will make it much easier.

The nature of a mother's love

Whether you decide to have children or if it is a surprise, the love a mother feels for her children is unsurpassed. Now, I am not saying that there aren’t bad mother’s out there, people who should never have had children, but for the most part mother’s love their children with all of their heart. I believe the depth of this love comes from something that has been instilled in us from the beginning. There is a place in all of our hearts that is reserved for the children we will have, whether we give birth to them or if they are adopted. This part of our heart has the capacity to love our children like nothing else.

I believe God instilled in us the ability to love our children at times more than ourselves. We sacrifice for them, whether it is giving up food or clothing so that they don’t go without. There have been many times I would go with much less so that my children didn’t suffer. When you become a parent they become your world. That is the way it should be, they should be your focus. Without you they won’t learn how to be responsible adults, how to have fun and enjoy life.

Father’s fall into this category also. Unfortunately, they aren’t able to spend the time with children that mothers are because they have to work to support the family. They sacrifice in a different way; they sacrifice their time so that their children don’t have to suffer. Families need to work on spending the time together to overcome the obstacles that society puts in place to stymie parents and their relationship with their children. Both parents have to build a relationship with their children that is open for communication and discussions. This doesn’t mean that you allow your children to rule the household. They still have rules to follow and have to realize the parents have the final say, but if parents talk to their children the teenage years will be much easier.

Most people think of children and their hearts melt. They think of the little babies and the cute toddlers and it is this feeling that people receive that is the basis for the love we have for our children. It is all encompassing and never ending. When our children our born, they grasp your finger for the first time and they smile into your eyes and you are hooked from day one. Children are the epitome of love.

What to think when your child's grades take the plunge

When children are doing well in school parents normally are relieved that they are doing what they think is supposed to be done. The thought that go through their mind is yes, I am doing this right, so I don’t have to worry. But when a child’s grade plummet then parents look closely at different aspects to find out what is going wrong and how they can help their child.

One of the items that parents look at is the quality of teaching. Is my child’s teacher teaching them the way they are supposed to be taught? Does the teacher not like my child? What could the teacher do different to help my child? These are all valuable questions and the best thing to do when your child’s grades plummet is to have a parent teacher conference to make sure the teacher and parent are viewing the information accurately. There will be times that a teacher just does not like a student for whatever reason, even though we know teachers are supposed to be above this type of attitude, but it does happen. That is why it is crucial for parents and teachers to meet to find the problem that the child is having. If the problem is that the teacher does not like your child then you need to make an appointment with the administrator of the school, whether it is a principal or dean, to have your child removed from the classroom. If it is not then the parent and teacher need to find something to help the child to improve their grades.

Another problem that could be happening is that the child has a new teacher and they have a different style than the last teacher and the child doesn’t respond as well to the teaching method. This is neither the fault of the teacher or the student, but it is still something that needs to be addressed. It is important at that time to have a meeting with the teacher to find an acceptable method to help the child improve. This could be moving the child to another classroom or just into another part of his current classroom. Sometimes when you remove a child from a group of children then it will help them to be able to focus on the teacher instead of his friends around him.

The most important part of your children while they are in school is to have open communication with the teacher and administrative staff. If both sides know that if a problem arises that one or the other can be contacted then the problem won’t fester out of control and it can be handled in a quick and efficient manner. Children should not be placed in a position at school that makes it difficult for them to learn. It is up to the parents and teachers to work together to make the transition between home and school as seamless as possible. Both parties want the same thing, for the child to succeed and grow.

The debate between moms working outside the home vs. staying at home

As a mom who has been a stay at home mom and a working mom, I think I can relate to this topic. When my children were little I was blessed with a husband who agreed that a mom should be there when before their children started school. After my children started school I was able to start my career and through the years have worked outside the home. My children are now teenagers and we mutually decided that the best course of action for our children was for me to be home.

Whether you fall into either category doesn't matter, what matters is how you handle the time you have with your children. If they are the focus of your life it won't matter if you work outside the home or not and the same goes if they aren't your focus. It is harder for a mother who works outside the home to try and struggle the different aspects of her life. Trying to balance your work life and home life is difficult whether you are a mother or not. I have found that when I was working my children were more disagreeable and had a harder time in school. But they have learned to be more self-sufficient than if I had been home with them. They can handle problems that arise without the stress that is normally associated with making difficult decisions.

We recently moved and one of the stipulations my husband and I decided on was that I would have to be able to stay home to take care of our children. We felt they were at an age when they needed supervision at home and not because they are bad children. But teenagers have a difficult time adjusting to their bodies and their minds. They can feel like they are being pulled in many different directions and not know which way to turn. We felt that it would be beneficial to our children for me to be home when they arrive from school. Since we have done this, my son and daughter have both become honor roll students. My son is getting involved in activities that he never had an interest in before and my daughter is returning to the fun loving, happy child that we used to have.

I don't know if these changes were affected because I wasn't around when they came home from school or if it is just normal changes children go through, but I will stay home with them until they graduate from high school. I believe that my presence at home is allowing my son to be a child again and not having to take care of his sister and I believe my daughter is happier with her role in the family. The best part is that if they have a problem in school, I am home to talk it over with as soon as they get here. They don't have to wait until I get home and let it simmer below the surface and eat away at them.

It is my opinion that children are normally better adjusted when the mom is home with them. If the mom feels she needs to work then I would suggest a part time job while their children are in school, but we home when they arrive or the method I have found is to find a job where you work from home. I know this is easier said than done, but the way my children behave now compared to the way they were behaving is such a dramatic shift that I would recommend all mothers stay home with their children. They are our future and if we don't take care of them the world will continue to escalate out of control. That doesn't mean women shouldn't work. I know for a long time I had a hard time if I wasn't working, I didn't know what to do with myself. There are other alternatives out there for women than working forty to sixty hour weeks, I would recommend that all mothers try and find one that works for them and their family. You just might find that you have your children back and didn't even realize they were gone.

Encouraging your Child's Talent for Drawing

You need to encourage your children in everything they do not just one specific topic. My son hated anything to do with art. He didn’t like to color or draw pictures. Now my daughter loves to draw. From the time she was little she could go through coloring books like they were water. It was her favorite thing to do. Here are a few things we did to encourage her drawing.

1. We made sure she always had a supply of coloring books with crayons, colored pencils and markers. We didn’t give them to her at one time because she would color them in one sitting so she would come to us when she finished one and would get a new one.

2. We supplied her with plenty of paper to draw her own art. When she would take magazine and try and copy the pictures we started getting her books on how to draw. We started her with simple one, basic line drawing, so that she didn’t get discouraged.

3. As she improved we got her harder books to learn how to draw more complicated items, she is currently into drawing fairies, dragons (really good at these) and animals of all sorts.

4. We displayed her art, and I don’t just mean taping it to the wall or putting it on the refrigerator with a magnet, but these are good ideas. When she was visiting her grandparents, we painted her room and decorated it, but we also pulled out her portfolio (she put it together on her own) and took two pictures of horses she had drawn. We framed them with matting and hung them on her wall. With everything we changed in her room that was the first thing she noticed. We had displayed her art and it excited her.

The best thing you can do with your children is encourage them in what they enjoy doing. They don’t have to be any good at it as long as they get pleasure out of doing it. It doesn’t have to be something they can do for a career; just let them enjoy doing it. Children use drawing as a way to express their feelings and if we stifle those feelings the children could have issues later in life.


http://www.helium.com/tm/190645/encourage-children-everything-specific

When kids should be allowed to date

There are a few different aspects to consider when you are thinking about allowing your child to date. You need to look at the maturity of the child, whether they are old enough and responsible enough to handle the emotions and requests that come with dating. You also need to look at the sex of the child, and I know this sounds wrong but as a parent of two children, I would allow my son to date at an earlier age than I would my daughter. The major reason for this is that he would be able to handle himself physically in a relationship and I wouldn’t have to worry about him being pushed into something he didn’t want to do.

When you allow your children to date at an early age you are thrusting them into the dating scene, which includes emotions that they aren’t used to dealing with. I agree that they do have to learn how to handle these emotions, but I would prefer for them to be mature enough to handle the feelings that are coming their way. I also believe that every girl should be given lessons in how to protect herself. She should also be taught that it is okay to say no to anything on a date. I am very thankful to my family for teaching me these things and we are working on teaching my daughter the same things.

I believe that many children are allowed to date too early in life. They aren’t allowed to enjoy their teenage years for what they are, they believe that if they aren’t dating then they are a misfit or aren’t good enough. Yes, I know in history girls were married extremely young and that is an argument that many people use now to allow children to date as young as 12 or younger. I believe that children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood; they shouldn’t be rushed into dating. We might allow my daughter to date at 15, but only on double dates and we might allow her to go out on a regular date at 16, but it will depend on her maturity level. But then again, my husband and daughter are in negotiations for the dating age and she has worked him down to age 28. We will see if she is able to work on her negotiation skills and lower the age.

http://www.helium.com/tm/182697/there-different-aspects-consider

Tips for increasing awareness and respect toward teenagers

Many people will tell you that they feel teenagers are a different entity. They don't understand how they think or why they act or dress the way they do, but these same people also don't take the time to get to know them. They don't talk to them and find out the answers to these questions. People generally don't want to have to make an effort to try and understand someone else's belief system.

The teenage years are a difficult time for most people and when they become an adult they try and put it behind them to become responsible members of society. Unfortunately, by putting up a mental block of this time of your life it makes it difficult to relate with anyone else going through it. Adults need to look beyond the heavy makeup, the strange hair styles and wild clothes to the individual underneath. Most teenagers are just trying to find out how they fit into the world. They have so many questions and they don't know how to ask them or even who to ask. Many times they just want someone to listen to them and not judge them by the way they look.

It is important to remember some of the clothing styles and attitudes we had as teenagers and give them a break. They are just trying to find their own comfort zone to be able to grow up and live a happy life. Take the time to talk to them and you will be surprised of not only the knowledge that they have but the questions and concerns they have about numeral subjects to include politics, the environment and financial stability. Teenagers are our future and as such we need to nurture them and help them grow and teach them to be responsible for their actions.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My daughter has always had an active imagination. You can be talking to her about grapes and she asks you a question about frogs. When you ask her how she changed the subject to frog she will explain to you that she likes grapes, especially the red ones, but she likes apples better and when she had an apple last time, her dog wanted a bite of it, and when think about her dog it will remind her of the frog she saw coming home from school. So, like I said she has an active imagination and her thought process will take you on a twisting and turning ride.

She was about 4 years old and we were reading the bible together as a family. It was the verse where Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for you and my daughter started getting antsy. She couldn’t sit still, but she waited until we were done reading before jumping up and down on the bed. When we asked her what she was excited about, she started laughing and giggling so much that it took us about 5 minutes to calm her down. Once we were able to she looked at us with a large smile and said I am going to have a pink castle. She said that God said he was going to go prepare a place for her and she was going to get a pink castle with sparkles. She looked at us, smiled and said I can’t wait to go to heaven; I want to have Jesus come see my pink castle. Then she asked, will you and dad come visit me there in my castle. She was so happy to hear that Jesus already had a place for her; she talked about it for years.

It is humbling to see this small child understand and relate to the bible and God’s word more than most adults. She was able to hear something and immediately know that she would have her castle in the clouds. She is 13 now and still occasionally talks about her castle in the sky, but she has since changed the color. We can see a new world when we look through the eyes of children. They are able to see things with clarity that we as adults are able to distinguish because of the bias we have developed over the years. To be able to view the world through the eyes of a child is a glorious revelation.

When your child wants to join the military

My 17 year old son is talking about going into the military. He is currently weighing his options to decide if he would prefer college or military. This is completely his decision but we do talk to him about his options. One of the options we are talking to him about is which branch he would join. His first inclination is toward the Army because he would like to be a sniper or special forces. He has already eliminated the Navy because he doesn't like water and he doesn't want to be a Marine. But his other alternative is the Air Force which is the branch that we are recommending to him if he doesn't decide to go to college. He is a bright child and would handle the Air Force better than the Army as it emphasizes your intelligence over the Army emphasizing your brawn. I know that he will make the decision that works best for him in the long run, whether that is the military or college.

As a parent we need to make sure that we support our children in the decisions they make. Now I don't mean let them do whatever they want, but they come to a certain age when the decision has to be theirs. I would be hypocritical if I didn't want my son to join the military. My family has been active members of the military for generations. My father was in the Army during WWII, along with two of my uncles. I have had 2 uncles in the Navy during the Korean War and a brother in the Marines during the Vietnam War. I have also had 2 other brothers in the Army and a sister in the Air Force. I have a brother-in-law that is retired Navy and I have a nephew that was in the Army. to top it all off both my husband and I were in the Air Force. Looking at the history of my family, it could be assumed that I would encourage my son to go in the military, but I won't do that. It is a decision he has to make and one he has to live with the rest of his life. If he thinks that going in the military is the right decision for him then his father and I will support his decision.

Parents should be proud their children have chosen a career in the military. It is a honorable profession and no matter what people think about the war we are in, it is important to always support our troops. If my son does chose this path, then we will pray everyday for God to look out for him and his troop, but we will honor his decision and support him with not only our words but our actions also. If it is important to him then it is important to us.

Packing fun and memories into your kid's 'snow day'

A storm is moving into the region, a large nor’easter or a blizzard across the state. You have been following the news and know that it is very likely the children won't have school tomorrow. This would be a great opportunity to have them clean their room, to get done the things they have been putting off doing because basically it was one of their least favorite things to do. You could do this, but is this the type of memory you want to leave with your children for snow days. Their friends got to play games and bake cookies and do fun things and they had to work. This is your opportunity to make special memories for your children that they will remember for the rest of their lives. It will also give you some memories for when your children are adults and move out of your home. So take the time and have some fun with your children on those rare (and not so rare) snow days. I have provided a few ideas of different things you can do to make this day special for all of you.

• No matter the age, most children love to play board games. This is a chance for you to sit down with them and not only play the games with them, but also have some quality time with them. You can talk about their interests, what they like and dislike. You will be amazed at the information you will receive from they. Your children want you to be a part of their lives, they are just waiting for you to show an interest.
• Bake a special dessert for dinner. You and your spouse will treasure it even more because your children helped make it. Let them help choose the recipe, talk it over. You might find that there are certain types of food they don't like, like chocolate or coconut. They might not like nuts or even raisins. This will give you both the opportunity to spend time together and it will help your child improve their self-esteem because they helped make dessert.
• Create a craft project together. Most houses that have children normally have supplies for basic crafts, i.e. yarn, construction paper, material, glue. You can go online and there are sites that provide information to create different crafts with children. Or you can let them create their own project and it will be amazing what they are able to design. Children have active imaginations and the information they retain and projects they create are astonishing.
• If you have younger children, you could read a book with them or watch a movie. The feelings they will have of you sitting down with them and spending time will be a moment that they will treasure. It will also help them stay calmer because they aren't trying to get your attention because they already have it, which will make for a more peaceful day for you.
• If you reach a lull in the storm, don’t think about going outside to shovel the walk or driveway. Instead think about going outside to build a snowman or igloo. You could challenge your children to a snowball fight, but be careful you just might lose. You could have a snowman building contest and try to build the largest or the widest snowman. There are many options that you have to play in the snow. You could go sledding down the nearby hill or even make snow angels. Let your children suggest some ideas; it is inspiring the information that they will provide to you. They might decide to build a whole village or even a town of igloos. One of the best aspects of playing in the snow with your children is going inside afterwards and being able to sit down together with a cup of hot chocolate. There isn’t anything like have hot chocolate on a cold winter day, especially after playing in the snow.
• Some children enjoy drawing, but realize not all children do. You could bring out the coloring books and drawing pads to create elaborate pictures together. Imagine your child coming home from school the next day and instead of the old oil painting on the wall you took the pictures she drew and hung them on your wall. You took the time to mat and frame them, you are able to show her how special you think she is and how proud you are of her. This will be a memory that she will not only cherish but likely pass down to her own children.
• If you have a daughter, this could be a chance for you to have an elaborate tea party with her. You both could get dressed up in your nicest dresses and have tea and cookies. You could either make the cookies together first (don’t want to get the nice dresses dirty) or you can use premade cookies. Use your best dishes and linens to portray an elegant tea party. If you have it use your nice tea set, because it is a special moment for her, she will be careful.
• Another idea that you can do to make a snow day special is to just spend time with your children. You can play with them, most children love when their parents play with them. Children enjoy spending time with their parents because it reinforces their belief that they are loved which will help them to grow up to be well-rounded individuals.

There are many things you can do to make a snow day special for you and your children. It is always better to leave our children with happy memories that they can cherish and take with them into adulthood. The values we teach our children are the most important legacies we could leave them with. It is our job as parents to help them make the happy memories, to teach them values and most important teach them to have fun in life. Life is too short to only worry about the obligations that we have, we need to focus on what is important in our lives and one of the most important is our children. We only have our children for a short period of time, enjoy them while you can.

Internet Safety

This is a touchy subject for quite a few parents and it isn't because they don't want to protect their children, this is upmost in their minds. It is a touchy subject because many parents do not know how to monitor their child's time on the web. Children today are growing up with the Internet, it is a mainstay of their life, because of this they are learning the ins and outs quicker and better than most parents. Some parents have never even touched a computer, much less learn how to monitor what their children are doing.

I had a friend ask me how to monitor what her son was doing on the Internet because she didn't know how. This is the key, if you don't know what your children are doing and don't have an idea how to find out, ask someone. Here are a few of the ways I showed her how to monitor what her son was doing on the Internet.

1. Check the temporary Internet files to see what websites he has visited. This is a folder that saves what websites the computer has gone to for a certain amount of time.

2. Check the cookies folder. When you go to some websites, a cookie is downloaded to your computer to identify you on the website. You can view these and see what websites the child has gone to.

3. Make sure you have antivirus software on your computer. With Norton you can limit what type of sites your child can go to. If you find that they were able to go to a site that should have been blocked, let Norton know and they will add it to their list.

4. Check recent documents. This will show if they have viewed any documents that are inappropriate to include pictures.

5. Check the history folder. This is for the same reason as the temporary Internet folder. It will let you know what websites your children have gone to recently.

6. Turn on the logs in the chat room files. You will need to read through the logs to find out what has been said and who your child has been talking to.

7. Talk to your children, give approval for what sites you will allow them to go to. If you don't want them to talk on MySpace, then let them know or you can let them have access but only when you are around to monitor it.

There are quite a few different methods where you can monitor your children on the Internet, but it all comes down to that the parent has to take responsibility of monitoring what they are doing. The child is curious and wants to explore and learn new things, sometimes things that we as parents deem inappropriate. But this is our decision to make and it is up to us to enforce our rules and make sure that their lives are as safe as we can make them.

The Pet Patrol

When it comes to your children and pets, they want as many as they can get away with having. It is up to you as the parent to put control over how many you will allow in the house, otherwise you will be overrun with animals.

My son is happy with his dog, he has come to the realization that cleaning up after a pet is not his favorite thing to do. He likes to play with him, take him outside, feed and groom him, but when it comes to the clean up, he would prefer not to do it. So he is happy with one dog.

My daughter on the other hand would love to have as many pets as possible. She would like birds, cats, dogs, fish, hamsters, and anything that isn't a reptile. She doesn't think about the clean up until she is told to do it. She just loves animals. If it wasn't for some animals dieing she would become a vet, but she has a hard time with the thought of putting an animal to sleep. Instead she is thinking about becoming a horse breeder, because she is the only person I know who has liked horses since she was 2 years old and she is now 13.

So if you decide to get your children pets, make sure they are suitable for your home. If you live in an apartment it probably isn't feasible to own a large dog. If you are allergic to cats, it isn't a good idea to own one, this is why we don't own any cats, my husband is allergic. You also need to determine how much time you have to spend with an animal, if you work long hours and aren't home a lot it probably isn't a good idea to own a dog because they require time. They have a hard time when they are left alone for long periods of time. It is always important to look into animals and what there characteristics are like before you decide to buy one, because once you do, then they are your responsibility until they die. Remember fish have short life spans and don't require a lot of attention.

Once again this is the ramblings of a parent of teenagers trying to find wisdom, one article at a time.
Patti

The Money Tree

My husband and I were talking a few years ago about how to teach our children to be responsible with money. We still haven't figured this out, but we are working on it. Here are a few ideas that we use to help them learn about the value of money and how to make it to a point where they don't have to work unless they want to.

The first step is to teach them how much money they actually have. If they have $10 a week for allowance, how much do they really have?

• $1.00 goes to church (10%)
• $1.00 goes to savings (10%)
• $2.00 goes to taxes (20%)
• $6.00 goes to what they want to spend it on

So actually they don't get $10.00 for allowance, they get $6.00. We wanted to teach them, that first you pay God, because that is where the money comes from. Second you pay yourself, savings. Third you pay taxes, they don't have to worry about this for an allowance, but they will when they get a job. Fourth they have to pay an household bills, if they have borrowed money through the week or asked for a specific product, they have to pay back what they owe and the rest they get to spend.

Second by teaching them to pay God as a child, we are getting them into the habit at an early age so that when they are an adult they will do it willingly and then God can bless them in the way they are entitled.

Thirdly, by teaching them to pay themselves through their savings, it will help them to become comfortable enough that they won't have to work at a job they hate. No matter what the pay is they will be able to work at a job they love. The money they have put into savings is then used to invest and make the money work for them. This can be done through investing in stocks and bonds, or putting it into a savings account that offers interest, now look into the savings accounts before you deposit the money into it, because our local banks only offer .15% interest (yes, the decimal is where it is supposed to be) by researching different banks, we found a bank that is currently offering 6%. So instead of earning $.0015 on a dollar, I will be earning $.06 on the dollar.

My daughter was interested in investing, so we let her research a stock and she ended up buying one share. Before she sold the stock, she had made $5 on a $32 stock. She was excited and she is still researching different stocks to find out any new ones she wants to buy. She looks at stocks for markets she knows something about and buys from those markets.

By teaching them now that they have to pay taxes for the rest of their life, it will be easier for them to learn how to budget their money. They won't just take their gross amount and think they have that much to spend. They will be able to figure out exactly what they have and be able to have a better budget to live off of.

We hope by working with our children now that they won't have to go through the same trials that we went through. We are trying to impart our knowledge at a time when they might listen to use and understand the ramifications of good money handling skills. If this article interested you, then I would recommend a good book that we have read and are having our children read, it is called "The Richest Man In Babylon" by George S. Clason. It breaks down the principles that everyone needs to learn to have your money work for you, not you work for money. It is an easy read and your children will be able to understand it.

I hope this was helpful to everyone. Enjoy your children, they are only teenagers once!

Patti

Let's Rock 'n Roll

Should we, as parents sensor what kind of music our children listen to or should we let them have their freedom and choose what they want to listen to? This is a tough question and one many parents would prefer not to make.

When I was a teenager, I was allowed to listen to any music I chose to listen to. It didn't matter if I listened to heavy metal, rap, country, or disco. My parents always gave us the freedom to listen to what we wanted. This is once stance you can take as a parent, but is it the stance you should take.

As a parent, I listen to the music my children like. If there is a new band that they would like to listen to, they ask first and we listen to it together. We pull up the lyrics and decide if they are appropriate for them to hear. I think this is an important part of a parents job. I have friends who children are allowed to listen to anything they want, it doesn't matter what type of music.

One of the children came over to our house and was talking to my son about this new group and did he want to listen to the CD. My son told him that he had to clear it with me first because from what he had heard about the group they degraded people and especially women. The boy was shocked over this, but he said something that brings it into perspective. He said, your mom monitors what you listen to? My son answered, not only what I listen to, but what I watch also. The boy said, Man, I wish my mom did that.

Our children's lifestyle depends on us as parents, we are the ones responsible for helping them make the right decisions. If we allow them to listen to and watch whatever they want, then we aren't teaching them that there are correct ways to behave and incorrect ways. By putting restrictions on our children, we can help them grow into responsible, caring adults. They will be able to make decisions on the content of items not just because their friends are doing it. If I can teach my children to research things before they endorse them, whether by listening, watching, buying or even talking about them, I have helped them succeed in life.

Parents - The Television Police

Do you ever feel like this? That you have to make sure the shows your children are watching are appropriate, even if they are on some of the major children networks. As my children have grown we have always monitored what shows they watch. A few years ago my son was watching a popular television show for kids (one of those fighting ones). I had decided that day to sit down and watch it with him, to get an idea about the show and any others he was watching. The show was fine to start with (a little lame) and it was about halfway into the program when the adult on the show said that it was okay to lie occasionally, as long as it wasn't a big lie. I was shocked, the show got immediately shut off and it was banned from being watched in our home. We also let our family members know what had been said and they banned it also.

When our children are watching cartoons, you think that it will be an okay show to watch, that you shouldn't have to monitor it because after all it is a cartoon. Over the years, we have come to ban a few shows because of the attitude the characters have on it. One is that it is okay to lie, another one was that it was okay to pee your pants, and another just because of the way they treated the adults on the show (that they were stupid).

My children haven't felt deprived because they can't watch certain shows, even when they go to their friends houses and they want to watch the show, my children come home. We are trying to instill a sense of moral right and wrong in our children and if banning television shows helps in that endeavor, we will continue to handle it the way we have been. The most important part of parenting is consistency, without it you will lose control of your children. And it is our job as the parent, to make sure they go down the path they are meant to go down. If by being careful what they watch and hear does that, then I will continue to monitor everything they see and hear.
Next time I will talk about the music that children listen to and how it affects them.

Enjoy your teenagers, they are only with you for a couple of more years.
Thanks
Patti

Teenagers and Moving

When we decided to move across the country we sat our children down and explained to them the reasoning behind the move. We let them give their view point of the situation and any ideas they had to make the transition easier for them. It is always important to let your teenagers feel like they have some control in any given situation. Part of the reason that teenagers feel rebellious is because they are trying to learn to have control over their lives and as parents this is what we want to have happen. It is our job to make sure they are able to accomplish this with minimal upheaval.

When you are planning your move, talk to you children. Let them know what is going on and where you are at in the planning process. Have them help you look at the different homes you are researching, they will have opinions on them. When they give you an opinion, listen to them, they just might notice something that you missed. If there are extra bedrooms in the house, let them choose which one they want and have them help you with the layout and design of the room.

One of the other areas that will help them cope with the transition is the school districts. We moved from an area that had one school district and large schools and moved into an area that had quite a few school districts with smaller schools. We had our children look at the different schools and find out if there was anything about them that they didn't like. When we discussed where we were going to move in the town, it helped them to know more about the school districts.

It is always important to talk to your children before any large transition in their lives. By keeping the lines of communication open, you have a better chance of being able to assist your children in the areas they are struggling in. It is also important to let your children have some control over their lives. Our goal as parents is to make sure they can survive in the world on their own and the first step to that is teaching them control over their lives. All we can do is teach them what we can and sit back and let them fly.

The Dreaded Chores

I was talking to a friend one day, his daughter was 6 months old and he was asking me about my children. He wanted to know if I gave my children chores. I, of course, answered yes. He was puzzled and responded, but how could I force my children to do things around the house, wasn't that my responsibility as a parent. I remember smiling at him and explaining why I make sure my children have chores. There are a few reasons and I am going to talk about them here today.

I believe that children need chores for several reasons. The first is that they help make the mess in the house and therefore they can help clean it up. If they leave something laying around, it is there responsibility to make sure it is picked up. Now that is the main reason...responsibility. If children don't have responsibilities in their life then how can they learn the satisfaction of doing a job well. How can they learn that picking up after yourself is common courtesy? Children need to have responsibility in their lives, whether it is with chores or with school work. They need to learn they are responsible for their own actions and that they can't blame someone else for their shortcomings.

The man was further flabbergasted when I proceeded to tell him that my children will be able to handle their own house when they move out. They both know how to do laundry, clean a house to hold up under a military inspection as both my husband and I were military (not that we force them to clean to this standard), they can cook (my daughter is still working on this and my son is a better cook than I am), they can figure out a menu and then figure out the grocery list from that and they both know how to budget their money (not that they always do). The man was shocked and said to me, Patti, I don't even know how to do all of those things. I said then I am sorry for you.

I never want my children to believe that there is something they can't do. Some people believe that by having children do chores you are using them as child labor, but what parent wants their child to go out into their life and fail. By having my children do chores, I am working on setting them up to succeed. If they can succeed in the daily household items now then they don't have to focus on them later and they can focus on their family, education and careers. But most important they can also focus on God. This is extremely important, no one should be consumed with the learning of daily chores, that isn't where our focus should lie. It should lie with improving ourselves and if by teaching my children how to do chores now then I am helping to make their lives simpler when they mature.

I fully believe that it is our responsibility as a parent to teach our children as much as possible. If we can teach them to have how to handle the simple things, they will be able to handle the bigger things. It is our responsibility to make sure they are prepared to go out into the world and when they start their first job, their boss isn't going to come by and tell them it is okay to be late on an assignment, I will take care of it for you. This is what we have to teach our children, that it is okay to take care of yourself, that it is important to handle the small things so they don't become big things. I know some of you will disagree with me, but I hope this has been helpful to some of you.

Enjoy your children and love them enough to teach them to stand on their own feet. They will thank you for it when they mature. Thanks and have a great day
Patti

The Dinner Table

We decided a few years ago that we would make sure that we had dinner together at least 5 days a week. At first this was difficult, my husband worked from home at the time and he would get caught up in his work and wouldn't come down and eat with us, either that or I had to work late. And if we did eat together it was in front of the TV on the couch. Not really conducive to talking together.

We recently moved and one of the things we decided was to have dinner together in the evenings. So every night, dinner is made by either myself, my husband or sometimes even my son and we sit down at the table to eat. We say Grace and then have dinner together, we discuss our day and we have actual conversations with our children. We actually find out what some of the problems they are having in school and are able to help them with those problems.

I think this is an integral part of family life, when I was growing up we always had dinner together as a family around the dinner table. We moved away from it when we had our children and our excuse was that our lives were too busy. Well we made a decision that we would make a conscious effort to slow down and spend that time with our children. It is important not just for their well being but for ours to have that time together. Now I am not saying that having dinner together will solve all of your problems, but I think it will help to find solutions to those problems, because you are actually spending time together and talking.

One of the side benefits that we have seen, is that we also get to know our children's friends better. Because our children know they have to be home for dinner, they invite their friends over and they are involved in the discussions also. By knowing your children's friends you are better able to keep a handle on who they are hanging out with and with what type of people.

But I think the best side benefit to having dinner together in the evenings, is getting to know our children on a more personal level. We are able to find out what they like and don't like. What things bother them and things they don't care about. It also helps us to help them grow and get to know us. Since we have started doing this, my children's grades have increased from my son getting D's and F's and the occasional C to getting straight A's. My daughter went from thinking that it was okay to be a C student with the occasional D to also being a straight A student. She now gets upset if she gets a C. By spending time with your children in the evenings, you help them in so many ways. I have just named a couple, but one of the ones you need to think about is that when they are spending time with you, they aren't watching TV or playing video games, and for that reason alone, we will continue to have dinner with our children in the evenings and hope that you do also.
Good luck and remember teenagers can be a joy
Patti

Children & Homework

I have a questions for the parents out there. Should you have your children do their homework as soon as they get home or let them relax for a little while first then have them do their homework?

When I used to work outside the house my children's favorite excuse for not doing their homework was because they needed my help to do it. They would have one question they were stumped on and wouldn't move beyond that question to finish the others. Instead they would stop and tell me they needed my help with their homework.

Now that I am not working outside the house and am able to work from home, when they get home I have them do their homework. They try and give me grief over it, but I stick to my rules and make them do it immediately.

Should this be the way it is handled or should I allow them to have a little while relaxing before they take care of it? They are obviously arguing for me to allow them the relaxation time, but I don't think it would be beneficial to them. If they do their homework as soon as they come home then they have the rest of the evening ahead of them to do just about anything they want.

Let me know what you think. Thanks
Patti

Intro

Hi, I wanted to start this by letting you know that I am a proud parent of two teenagers. My son is 17 and my daughter 13. I figured I would use this to offer advice to new parents and get advice from parents who have already been through the turmoil I and others go through with their children. I figured I could use this to recommend articles and books that have helped me and to see if there are any better ones that I haven't read or experiences I haven't heard about. I also thought I would use to to look at different products that I have used with my children and which products I wouldn't recommend and why. I always enjoy comments and if you would like to hear about a particular topic please let me know. I look forward to talking with all of you and can't wait to hear your topic suggestions and comments.
God Bless
Patti